The Phunky 20

My boy Derreck came up with this questionnaire and I've decided to humor him and play along...

01. Have you ever seen the movie Breakin' in its entirety? This happens to be my favorite movie of all-time. What did you think of it? If you have not seen it, do you have any plans to do so any time before you croak?

I have seen it and I love it.

02. What words or phrases do you tend to use to death?

"Fuck"

03. What are your three favorite Michael Jackson songs? If you don't have any favorite Michael Jackson songs, we will need to have a talk immediately.

"PYT (Pretty Young Thing)," "Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough" & "Smooth Criminal"

04. When was the last time I made you laugh? What did I say / do?

I'm sure it was that night at Bill's house but I know I'll never remember it again.

05. Do you have any quirky eating habits that other people think are weird?

I generally eat my sandwiches dry (no mayo, no mustard).

06. Do you believe in the afterlife? Why or why not?

I hope not because that would mean that on some level I've had multiple tries at life and this is the best I could do?

07. Fill in the blank: ____________ makes the best french fries in the galaxy.

Social

08. Is being a good kisser more important that being good in bed?

Being a good kisser is more important as you will be kissing more than f*cking.

09. A snail crawls up to the front door of a residence. He knocks on the door. A big, hefty guy opens the door and looks around and sees no one. He then looks down and sees the snail. Annoyed that he has been interrupted, he reaches down, grabs the snail and throws it across his front yard with an exuberant "Get da hell outta hea!" A year goes by, and the snail climbs back up to the same front door and knocks once again. The owner of the residence once again swings the door open, looks around and then down and sees the snail. And the snail goes "What the fuck was that all about?" That happens to be my favorite joke of all time. Did you think it was funny?

Yes

10. Do you have a really good story from your college years?

My best friend from high school who will remain nameless came to visit me in my dorm drunk as hell with her boyfriend at the time and another friend. They were acting a fool and then when they tried to leave, I would let them drive home. I forget how they did it but they managed to split up and get away from me then drove off as I chased them down the street. Don't worry. They lived.

11. Who was your favorite character from Sesame Street?

Oscar the Grouch. Surprised?

12. Do you feel that the Internet has rendered encyclopedias absolutely useless?

Pretty much.

13. What are your three favorite Notorious B.I.G. songs? Same rule applies to question #3.

"Everyday Struggle," "My Downfall" & "Who Shot Ya?"

14. Do you think you could beat me in an arm wrestling match?

Yes

15. Why do people shit on The Olive Garden?

The food generally sucks but the bread sticks are made in Heaven.

16. What's the best piece of advice someone has ever given you?

"Beer before liquor, never sicker"

17. Fill in the blank: _______________ might not be sexy to you, but it is to me.

Comic books

18. What's your favorite game on The Price Is Right?

Contestants' Row because there is always that guy who bids one dollar more than the guy next to him and the guy who came up with the first bid wants to punch that second guy in the eye.


19. If you ever got really famous, would you hire me as your manager?

Depends what I got famous for

20. If you could have sex to any song and it NOT be a slow jam, which would it be and why? Hell, maybe you have already done so. I dunno.

Portishead's "Glory Box"