Zack and Miri Make a Porno Red-Band Trailer

Only bad language. You can handle it.

Movie of the Week: Death Race

Mindless, testosterone-y fun.

Emphasis on "mindless."

Sadly, 80% of the best scenes were in the trailer, just less graphic.

On another note, I expect to see Jason Stratham and Tyreese in movies like this, but JOAN ALLEN?!? C'mon, Joan. I understand the need to have some fun but Joan...Joan, no.

Late Reviews: Pineapple Express & Tropic Thunder

I've been slacking. This isn't a reflection on how I felt about the movies but I just didn't have it in me to write comments about a movie. Anywho...

Pineapple Express


I was kinda disappointed. I enjoyed it and laughed alot but it was clearly a movie written through a series of puff-puff-pass sections as there were parts where the plot just disappeared. Plus, any movie that can't find anything funny for Gary Cole to do has committed a crime against comedy gods.

That said, Danny McBride is quickly becoming the guy who steals every scene he's in.

The best thing for me was seeing James Franco get a comedic role. just because he's a pretty boy who looks like James Dean doesn't mean he should be doing dramas. Anyone who watched Freaks & Geeks knows how funny he could be in a laidback way.

Tropic Thunder


Now this movie was hilarious. There were definitely parts where it dragged but when it was funny, it was asthmatically hysterical.

If Heath Ledger doesn't get Best Supporting Actor for The Joker, I hope Robert Downey Jr. does (although I'd like to think Hollywood would flinch at nominating a guy in blackface no matter how inoffensive I found it). Better yet, Tom Cruise should get the nomination

Movie of the (Last) Week: Step Brothers

Not as good as Anchorman or Talladega Nights but better than the other Will Ferrel/non-Adam McKay comedies that strived for the same aesthetic (Blades of Glory, Semi-Pro, etc.)

It slows down towards the end but the last 15 minutes is insane.

Movie of the Week: The Dark Knight: The IMAX Experience

(that's 4/5th)

I guess I'll finally get to this. I'll try not to spend too much time on this because there's already been a shitload of things written about it.

Is it the best comic book movie ever? Yes, sorta. I'd say it's the best one for adults. There is something aesthetically pleasing to the kid in me about movies like Superman II, Spider-Man 2 and X2: X-Men United in that they exist in complete fantasy worlds and appeal to kid and teens. The Dark Knight was made with the conceit that "Let's pretend that Bruce Wayne actually existed and that there was a terrorist that wore makeup." This was like Heat with a cape. The Dark Knight is a comic book movie in the way that Road to Perdition and A History of Violence were comic book movies.

Spoilers below

What I Loved:

• Heath Ledger as The Joker. Believe the hype. As a guy who can say he's seen 80% of the movies Heath Ledger has been in, even I didn't think he had this in him. To get a full range of what we lost with Ledger's death, compare Ennis De Mar from Brokeback Mountain to The Joker.
• Gary Oldman as James Gordon. Talk about range. It's already been established what a great actor Gary Oldman is but it's rare to see him do such restrained work. It's a shame that his performance is getting lost behind all the (well-deserved) praise Ledger's Joker is getting
• Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. Eckhart is one of my favorite actors and he sold the transition of the "White Knight" to Two-Face. Especially the scenes in the hospital with Gordon and Joker
• The characterization of the Joker and Two-Face. The Joker is a pull from Alan Moore and Brian Bolland's The Killing Joke where The Joker is convinced that all it would take is one bad day to make someone lose it like him (and Batman) Harvey Dent is pulled from Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale's The Long Halloween where the only killings Two-Face does are to the people he feels are responsible for his situation. Also that's where the idea of Harvey Dent, Gordon and Batman working together on cases came from. Since these are two of my all-time favorite Batman stories, I was quite pleased.
  
• Maggie Gyllenthal did what she could with what little she was given but she made me care about her fate. I doubt Katie Holmes could have pulled off her last scene over the phone with Harvey.
• Batman as a detective. I'm glad they didn't just have Batman figuring stuff out by looking at like he's Monk.
  
• The IMAX shots. Holy shit. When you see the picture fill up the entire IMAX screen for the first time, you will be taken aback.
• I'm glad Two-Face wasn't the main villain. The way this universe that Nolan has created works, it's not like Harvey Dent was going to start gathering henchmen and start to rob banks.
  

What I Didn't Like:

• Bale's Batman voice. It works when he's only saying one or two lines but when he's having full conversations with The Joker, Gordon or Harvey, he starts to sound ridiculous. I know everyone can't be Kevin Conroy but if there is one thing Michael Keaton had over fellow Batmen is his voice didn't sound silly.
• Speeches. There were too many speeches driving home the themes of the movie

What Made Me Think:

• Batman sure causes a lot of property damage when he hits the street. I'm not the only one who thinks so. I hope Bruce Wayne is somehow paying for all of this.
  

Watchmen Trailer

Movie of the Week: Hellboy II: The Golden Army

And the summer of good comic book movies continues.

This must have been a cross between director Guillermo Del Toro clearing his mental sketch pad from Pan's Labyrinth and warming up for The Hobbit. The imagination in Hellboy II makes the first movie look like a straight to video affair. The collection of creatures throughout the whole movie - especially the scene in the Troll Market - was probably the greatest collection of random creatures since the Cantina in Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope.

Ron Perlman is more comfortable as Hellboy this time and Selma Blair as Liz Sherman didn't bother me so much this time (I still think she can't act). The evolution of their relationship with each other and the outside world really carries this movie. Seth McFarlane as the voice of Johann Kraus almost stole the movie though.

Movie Characters I Want To Date: Laura

Since I’m not dating real people, I came up with this idea a couple of days ago. I think I’ll make this an ongoing thing that I’ll fall back on when I have nothing to blog about. This has nothing to do with the attractiveness of the actress playing the role (although it’s a movie so, odds are, they’re attractive). Certain elements of the character appeals to me romantically and sets unrealistic standards for real people who don’t have the benefit of rewrites.

Character: Laura

Film: High Fidelity

Actress: Iben Hjejle

Attractive Qualities: Rob describes her best: "Top five things I miss about Laura. One; sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she's got one of the best all time laughs in the history of all time laughs, she laughs with her entire body. Two; she's got character...She's loyal and honest, and she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. That's character...Three; I miss her smell, and the way she tastes. It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as their senses are concerned, just feel like home. [Four;] I really dig how she walks around. It's like she doesn't care how she looks or what she projects and it's not that she doesn't care it's just, she's not affected I guess, and that gives her grace. And five; she does this thing in bed when she can't get to sleep, she kinda half moans and then rubs her feet together an equal number of times... it just kills me. Believe me, I mean, I could do a top five things about her that drive me crazy but it's just your garden variety women you know, schizo stuff and that's the kind of thing that got me here."

Lists: Favorite Movie From Every Year You've Been Alive

You know I had to do it after the music one.

This one was harder as it took me a day to pick out various movies from every year and a few days afterwords to narrow it down to one. 1985 was particularly difficult.

1977: Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope
1978: Superman: The Movie
1979: The Muppet Movie
1980: The Empire Strikes Back
1981: Superman II*
1982: Rocky III
1983: A Christmas Story
1984: The Karate Kid
1985: Back to the Future
1986: Aliens
1987: The Princess Bride
1988: Die Hard
1989: Say Anything...
1990: Quick Change
1991: Terminator 2 : Judgment Day
1992: Unforgiven
1993: Groundhog Day
1994: The Lion King
1995: Before Sunrise
1996: Trainspotting
1997: Chasing Amy
1998: Elizabeth
1999: Fight Club
2000: High Fidelity
2001: Hedwig and the Angry Inch
2002: Raising Victor Vargas
2003: Finding Nemo
2004: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2005: Brokeback Mountain
2006: Children of Men
2007: Lars and the Real Girl
2008 (so far): WALL·E

* I cheated a little because it came out in Australia in 1980 but in the US in 1981 so I didn't have to chose between my favorite Star Wars movie and my favorite Superman movie.

Movie of the Week: WALL*E

Fucking awesome.

Upon first viewing, it is up with my top two Pixar flicks, The Incredibles and Finding Nemo. Who knows what happens when I own this gem.

WALL*E has replaced Dory from Finding Nemo as my favorite animated character ever created. The fact that WALL*E and EVE displayed more personality through expressions and limited vocabulary than most characters in live-action movies is amazing and kinda depressing.

I could probably go on all day about how great this movie is. I just want to know who are the souless human beings who gave this movie a bad review to only give it 97% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Movie Characters I Want To Date: Boof

Since I’m not dating real people, I came up with this idea a couple of days ago. I think I’ll make this an ongoing thing that I’ll fall back on when I have nothing to blog about. This has nothing to do with the attractiveness of the actress playing the role (although it’s a movie so, odds are, they’re attractive). Certain elements of the character appeals to me romantically and sets unrealistic standards for real people who don’t have the benefit of rewrites.

Character: Lisa 'Boof' Marconi

Film: Teen Wolf

Actress: Susan Ursitti

Attractive Qualities: Boof is the perfect embodiment of that girl was like your best friend but was not-so-secretly in love with you (I say "not-so-secretly" because everyone knows it but you...at least consciously). Does she make you feel guilty about liking other people? Nope. Does she even talk to you about and actively help you try to get with people that you want to get with? She knows you'll come around someday. That what you two could have would rival anything you had with middling little crushes...Until you actually get together and it's a mess and you realize that you should have stayed friends after all but now it's too late. But hey, why focus on the negative?

Movie of the Week: Wanted

This movie was made for 13 year old boys.

The script was kinda shitty (even for a movie very loosely based on a graphic novel) but I can't deny that the action scenes were cool as shit.

The only thing that sucked is if you saw the most recent red-band trailer, you've seen most of the cool scenes but the big shootout at the end was awesome as was a moment of profanity from Morgan Freeman who's played the holy black guy so long, you couldn't help but laugh.

Movie of the Week: The Incredible Hulk

I loved this movie but that's the comic book geek in me. That's who this movie was made more: any comic book fan who hated Ang Lee's Hulk (I didn't hate it...I liked it until the metaphysical cloud fight in the end). With the exception of Edward Norton, I think the casting was better in Ang Lee's movie but Norton and Liv Tyler had better chemistry than Eric Bana and Jennifer Connley.

CGI-wise, this Hulk looked much better than the doughy King Kong Hulk in Ang Lee's interpretation. Also, I liked that they established a relationship between Betty and Hulk which was sorely lacking in the first movie and is a big part of the comic.

If you were just going into this not having read a Hulk comic book or ever watching episodes of the Bill Bixby show, you might just see this as mindless entertainment. But for someone who has, there were little nods to both worlds, which were great.

And of course, we are still building towards the Avengers movie which I am excited about but I think will be a lesser product due to casting (the problems with Norton have been detailed and they are already having problems retaining Jon Favreau for the Iron Man sequel)

Movie of the Week: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Forced.

That's how this movie felt.

Not like a natural progression in the adventures of Indiana Jones but like a forced effort to make more money or out of boredom or out of George Lucas' desire to wipe his ass with my favorite movies from my childhood that he had a hand in.

Now I've seen some things throughout the trilogy that have caused me to be like "Oh, come on" (grabbing hearts out of people's chest and the train car chase spring to mind immediately) but there were things in this movie that were just stupid.

Maybe it's because I saw the first Indiana Jones movies when i was a kid and now as an adult, I have standards now but I don't think that's it.

The movie was enjoyable when Marion first showed up and the chase that followed in the jungle but then that was ruined by one of the worst things I have ever seen (I won't spoil it but it involves Shia Labeouf and CGI monkeys). After that, the movie was irredeemable.

I don't even want to talk about it anymore.

Movie of the Week: You Don't Mess With The Zohan

Here's what I wrote when I reviewed Click two years ago;

I actually liked it. I don't know why I'm surprised.
No matter how bad they seem on paper, there's always something amusing - even on the crudest of levels - about Adam Sandler flicks. There is not one Adam Sandler movie I have ever seen that I really hated and wouldn't watch again if it wasn't on cable (I still haven't seen 50 First Dates or Mr. Deeds or that animated Hanukkah flick)

The only thing that's changed is I saw 50 First Dates (loved it).

So basically if you like all of Adam Sandler's silly movies (I'm talking Happy Gilmore/Billy Madison silly), you'll find something to laugh at in this movie.

Movie of the Week: Sex and The City

This was how the show should have ended (I won't get into my feelings about the series finale again).

If you watched the show, I don't know how you could have hated the movie. I wasn't enamored with the show but liked it for the most part (except for the end). But the movie was enjoyable, albeit predictable (everything ended the way I thought it would based on the trailer). It was a little too long as they tried to cram a season's worth of storylines into a little over 2 hours.

The first hour of the movie was like Fashion Porn to all the women in the crowd (I don't think I've ever been to a movie that was sold out and had so few men* attending and I'm no stranger to chick flicks).

They better not make a sequel. There is no way they can extend their stories any further.

* My "Man Card" has finally been revoked because I saw Sex and The City before I saw Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. This was a long time coming.

Choke trailer

100 Random Movies I Love (That I Not-So-Secretly Hope You Love Too)

I haven't done an "100 Things" list in awhile so I decided to be lazy and picked an easy one for me to do.

I tried to stay away from movies that would have been considered box office hits when they were in theaters and also movies that I'm pretty sure a lot of people have seen but as I started randomly picking movies from my DVD collection and Netflix rentals past the rules became fuzzy.

I'm not saying these are all good or great movies. Some of them are. Some of them are pretty bad but I find them incredibly watchable. I'm not saying that I'll hold it against you if you don't like, hate or haven't even seen any of these movies. But if you love them too...cool.

In alphabetical order (links to IMDB)

1. 12 Monkeys
2. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
3. American Psycho
4. Army of Darkness
5. Away from Her
6. Best In Show
7. Big Trouble in Little China
8. The Break-Up
9. Brick
10. Children of Men
    
11. The Chronicles of Riddick
    
12. Clean
13. Closer
14. The Constant Gardener
15. Dancer in the Dark
16. Dark City
17. The Descent
18. Devil in a Blue Dress
19. Don Juan De Marco
20. Drumline
21. Elizabeth
22. Equilibrium
23. Eve's Bayou
24. Fear
25. The Fisher King
26. Fools Rush In
27. Fountain, The
28. Galaxy Quest
29. Gattaca
30. The Gift
31. Go
32. Grosse Pointe Blank
33. Half Nelson
34. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
35. High Fidelity
36. In the Mood for Love
37. Infernal Affairs
38. The Iron Giant
39. Keeping the Faith
40. Kicking and Screaming*
41. The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
42. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
43. Labyrinth
    
44. Lars and the Real Girl
45. Layer Cake
46. Léon: The Professional
47. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
48. Lift
49. Little Man Tate
50. Little Manhattan
51. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
52. The Long Kiss Goodnight
53. Lord of War
54. Love & Sex
55. Mad Dog and Glory
56. Memento
57. A Mighty Wind
58. Monster House
59. The Monster Squad
60. Murderball
61. My Life Without Me
62. Notes on a Scandal
63. Oldboy
64. Once
65. Orgazmo
66. Pan's Labyrinth
67. The Paper
68. Punch-Drunk Love
69. Quick Change
70. Raising Victor Vargas
71. Reign of Fire
72. Requiem for a Dream
73. Rescue Dawn
74. Road House
75. The Royal Tenenbaums
76. The Science of Sleep
77. Serenity
78. Shortbus
79. Sin City
80. Sliding Doors
81. Snatch
82. Sneakers
83. Spartan
84. Spirited Away
85. The Squid and the Whale
86. The Station Agent
87. Stir of Echoes
88. Swimming with Sharks
89. The Tao of Steve
90. Team America: World Police
    
91. Thank You For Smoking
92. Three O' Clock High
    
93. The Truth About Cats & Dogs
94. The Upside of Anger
95. A Very Long Engagement
96. Volver
97. The Way of the Gun
98. The World According to Garp
99. You Can Count on Me
100. Zodiac

So let me have it. Which of these movies do you absolutely hate?

* The Noah Baumbach one, not the Will Ferrell one

R.I.P. Sydney Pollack

I liked him as an supporting actor as much as I did as a director

Movie of the Week: My Baby Mama

It was funnier than I was expecting it to be. Tina Fey is really growing as an actress.

It was pretty dumb but I laughed so mission accomplished.