Fox's "24" = Right Wing Propaganda

C'mon, the writing is on the wall.

Think of all the rights and liberties we've lost or been threatened.

warrants? Wiretapping? Torture?

Jack Bauer breaks them for shits and giggles.

And we cheer!

Plus, it's on FOX.

(Please note: Arrested Development, which occasionally took shots at the Bush Administration, is constantly having its episode orders cut despite the fact that The War At Home and Stacked are also on the channel)

Fuck it.

I still love it though.

January 15th can't come soon enough.

Looks like the entire SNL season wasn't a waste of time

I missed this when it first aired

Movie of the Week Pt. II: Brokeback Mountain

After much thought and consideration, this was the best movie I have seen this year.

Heath Ledger is probably neck-and-neck with Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Capote for best actor and it should be an interesting competition being that Hoffman's performance (from what I've been told) is more showy while Ledger's is extremely quiet and nuanced. It's more about how he expressed himself even though he wasn't a talker.

Anyway, it was a sad love movie. Not so much about gay cowboys but about two people who couldn't do the one thing they both they wanted to do.

Actually it's more about what happens when one person isn't willing to follow his heart and live a long repressed life.

I wonder if Ang Lee had Michelle "Dawson's Creek" Williams and Anne "The Princess Diaries" Hathaway show their breasts in some sort of "There's something for everyone" gesture.

Movie of the Week: The Ringer

It was Christmas and we wanted to see something funny.

I have never been in a theater with so much...I guess you would call it cautious laughter.

Some of the mentally challenged actors were playing for laughs but the crowd, myself included, flet bad laughing.

It was actually propaganda for the Special Olympics but it was cute.

It didn't suck.

Even if he doesn't have an arm...

...it was worth it just for this.

Welcome to New York City

Lazy Sunday

Movie of the Week (Pt. II): King Kong

Let's be honest.

If Peter Jackson did a shot-for-shot remake of that movie, it would be torn apart by critics as shallow.

Jackson and crew fleshed out Ann, fleshed out Denham and most importantly fleshed out Kong a character not just a big ape.

Naomi Watts was amazing. I am starting to believe that she doesn't know how to bad in a movie.

Jack Black was okay as Carl Denham. It was hard to get past the fact that it was Jack Black but he sold Denham's despicable nature.

The F/X on Kong were nothing short of amazing. There needs to be an award for motion capture work just so Andy Serkis can get the proper recognition.

It didn't feel like a three hour movie but it could have been cut short.

We need a leader.

"You know who l think the black leader should be?...Coach Pat Riley. No man has led more black men to the promised land...than Coach Pat Riley. He may not get us to the mountaintop, but he'll get us to the playoffs. And that's all we want."
--Chris Rock
Bigger And Blacker

Welcome back, Pat.

Good luck with Antoine Walker.

Movie of the Week: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

If I was 10 years old:


This was like The Lord of the Rings for kids.

I didn't hate it but the story had too many holes and "huhs?".*

But if recognized that if I was a young child, I would have thought it was on the level of Dark Crystal or Labyrinth.

The acting was good especially Tilda Swinton (White Witch) & Georgie Hensley (Lucy) and the whole Christian allegory was not as bad as some people made it seem.

The CGI was okay. I feel like they put all their energy making Aslan (The Lion) look realistic that everything looked bad by comparison.

Out of curiosity, I know they get a lot of cardio work but is there such a thing as a overweight centaur?

And, um, why the hell was Santa there?*

*No, I have never read any of the books.

Movie of the Week: Jarhead

This is a hard movie to judge.

Because the point of the movie was that these soliders did nothing during the first Gulf War.

They succeeded in getting that point across.

But it doesn't make for a very engaging movie experience.

It was an interesting watch.

The acting was great (Peter Sarsgaard is becoming one of my favorite actors who will never play the lead in a movie).

I don't know.

I'm glad I saw it.

But nothing happened.

And that was the point.

*Shrugs*

R.I.P. To The Funniest Motherfucker Ever

It's December so you know what that means

It means it is time for you to buy me something

I've made it easy for you.

Also, let me know what you want to and I'll see if it's in my budget.

X3

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/x3/

Looks like Ratner is going all out on the action front.

I don't like how Beast and Juggernaut look but hey, what can you do?

Glaring Oversight

I finally sat through and watch AFI's 100 Greatest Movie Quotes of All-Time.

How did this not make the cut?

"Hey, woman! Hey, woman! Listen here, since your old man ain't got no heart, maybe you'd like to see a real man! I bet you stay up late every night dreaming you had a real man, don't you? Why don't you bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight, and I'll show you a real man!"
--Clubber Lang from Rocky III

Seriously, what were they thinking?

Movie of the Week: Walk The Line

First of all, if Joaquin Phoenix (who claims to have never have sang or played guitar) & Reese Witherspoon (who, sometimes, sounded BETTER than the original) could sing all of Johnny Cash & June Carter's songs and not hurt the movie, there's no reason that Jamie Foxx couldn't have done the same. We know he CAN do a good Ray Charles singing voice.

Anyway, it was a great movie. Everyone was on their A-game. Joaquin & Reese should be nominated for Oscars, Golden Globes and People's Choice Awards. And dare I say, Robert "T-1000" Patrick might swing a nomination too.

I think Reese Witherspoon is underappreciated as an actress. But, once you do Legally Blonde 2, you leave yourself open for hate.

If you come to this movie expecting to find out about Johnny Cash and how he made such damn good music, you'll be disappointed.

Don't get me wrong. There's plenty of music (can I once again mention Reese Witherspoon sounded really good?)

This movie was about Johnny Cash's endless pursuit of June Carter.

It was like they went through Johnny Cash's two biographies (which I want to read now) and filmed all the chapters that mentioned June Carter.

Update: Go, Go Elizabeth, It's Your Bah Mitzvah

"For his estimated $500,000, I hear that 50 Cent performed only four or five songs - and badly - though he did manage to work in the lyric, 'Go shorty, it's your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah.'"

Apparently 50 Cent will go to any length to crush Ja Rule...

There's nothing worse than...

...when someone ruins your joke with their real life tragedies.

Example:
"My boss was all over me like a cancer."
"Yeah, my mom has cancer. It spreads really quickly."
"....um, yeah."

I know this sounds reallly insensitive but it very Debbie Downer-ish.

Let me have my joke and kill the vibe later.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way...

Rest in Peace, Mr. Miyagi

In honor of Pat Morita, I suggest you read The Sports Guy's hilarious review of The Karate Kid Trilogy.

It always makes me laugh.

Well, I've slipped.

I tried to go out and see a movie and Saturday but ended up at a piercing/tattoo spot where some friends got some work done.

Oh well.

Maybe I'll do a double feature this week.

Movies I'm Interested In Seeing: December

If you wanna come with me, lemme know*.

December 9th:
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
Memoirs of a Geisha**
Brokeback Mountain***

December 14th:
King Kong

December 23rd:
Munich

December 25th:
Match Point

* Barring any awful reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.
** No, I haven't read the book and don't plan to.
*** For the umpteenth time, I'm not gay.

Happy Bah Mitzvah, Amber!

Times are tough for Ja Rule & The I.N.C.

Movie of the Week: Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire

Dark and difficult times lie ahead, Harry. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right... and what is easy.
--Albus Dumbledore



When all was said and done, it was another solid effort.

The second best Harry Potter movie (The best is still Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban).

Daniel Radcliffe is getting better as an actor.

This movie was pretty dark.

So it was unfortunate that Tabitha and I were hit with a seating double-whammy.

Behind us were little children ranging from 5-8 years old.

To the right of me were three teenage girls.

So behind us, one girl started crying at the King Kong preview during The Twenty so I knew we were in for a long night (she cried three more times during the movie). And, of course, there was the little boy who hadn't mastered the art of whispering so he asked his mom questions in his outside voice.

And next to us, we had girls who probably had pictures of Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint in their lockers who every time they did anything, they went "Awwwww" or "He is sooooo cute" in unison (very scary).

It was definitely a good movie. I didn't read the book so I don't know what they left out. And I don't plan to read the books until after the movies have finished.

I have committed to the cinematic version of "Harry Potter" so everything I'm watching follows a certain continuity and, unlike every comic book movie or adaptation of a beloved novel I see, I can enjoy it without nitpicking in the back of my mind and having "Well, why didn't they do this or that?".

Superman Returns Teaser Trailer

I wanna hate but I can't...

It's Superman.

Something about Superman always makes you feel like a little kid.

The Curse Strikes Again...

Deep Discount DVD Sale!!!

DeepDiscountDVD is running a 20% off sale through November. They already have the lowest prices on the net so with this coupon you'll be saving big time. They limit you to five but still a great deal.

Use one of these codes for 20% off:

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Rest in Peace, Latino Heat

Vote for T.O. for the Pro Bowl

http://www.nfl.com/probowl

Whether you like him or not, T.O. being at the Pro Bowl might actually make people watch it this year.

Movie of the Week: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

I call it my "faggot gun," because it's only good for a couple of shots and then you have to drop it for something better.
--Perry Van Shrike a.k.a "Gay Perry"



Val Kilmer & Robert Downey, Jr. need more work.

Shane Black, who wrote and directed this, also wrote guilty pleasures "Long Kiss Goodnight" & "The Last Boy Scout". And it shows.

The best word to describe this movie is "wacky"

The day we all feared has finally come.

Arrested Development got it's order cut down to 13 episodes and will be cancelled after its over.

Is America too stupid for smart comedy?



This really hurts my feelings.

Don't call me today.

I need to mourn.

The Fountain

Here's the teaser trailer to Darren Aronofsky's (Requiem for a Dream, Pi) new film starring Hugh Jackman and Rachel Wiesz

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/thefountain

I Can't Wait.

Legends of the Fall

Floor Bored Pt. II

Everyone wants to know why I always fall asleep when I drink too much.

Here's why.

If I have too much hard liquor and I don't feel well.

My body automatically shuts down.

We'd rather sleep at the party then throw up at the party.

(In regards to the train incident, I didn't fall asleep fast enough)

Floor Bored

I was reminded on Friday night/Saturday morning why I said this...

It involved Ketal One and a friend's hardwood floor.

Never again.

Seriously.

Very promising

Thomas Hayden Church as Sandman for Spider-Man 3

From now until the end of the year...

...I am going to go to the movies once a week.

At least, I am going to try. I'm sure there is going to be a point where there is nothing I want to see but I think I will be straight.

This week's movie: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.

I think next week, unless something else comes up, I'll see Jarhead or Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic.

I already bought my tickets to see Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire with my visiting friend, Tabitha on the 18th. I'll probably end up seeing this again at the IMAX theater.

Plus we are entering Oscar season.

It will be expensive but, last year, I only saw one of the five movies nominated for Best Picture and thought that was pathetic for me (of course, it's even more pathetic to think something like that is pathetic...)

Anyway, wish me luck.

I'll let you know what sucked.

Bad for Business

With the number of unwed mothers on the rise and more and more people willing to accept not getting married...are the makers of wedding bands and engagment rings suffering through tough times or what?

Used to be when getting someone knocked up was an easy wedding ring/engagement ring sale...like selling a tire to a guy with a flat.

Times have changed.

Now guys are going into the store thinking, "Maybe I can ride this one out. Maybe she'll just want to be my longtime girlfriend."

They must have monthly meetings where every once and awhile someone cries out in despair, "Damn you, Kurt Russell!"

I Love The 90's in Scratch & Sniff

I hope when they do "I Love the 90's" again, they'll reminisce about when VH-1 used to play adult contemporary videos.

I would love to hear Hal Sparks, Patrice O'Neal and Michael Ian Black talk about how their livelihoods cost one genre of music it's only outlet to show it's music videos.

I'm sure we'd all laugh.

A Pig Just Flew Out of a Frozen over hell

Still sleeping...

In my defense, it was almost 5 AM.

Requiem For A Hatch

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2005/10/darren_aronofsk.html

Darren Aronofsky will direct 'Lost'

Who knew cult director Darren Aronofsky was a fan of the boob tube? The Requiem for a Dream helmer has just signed on to direct an episode of ABC’s Lost, which will likely air at the beginning of May sweeps. “It was one of those fantastic calls out of the blue,” says Lost exec producer Carlton Cuse. “His agents let us know he liked the show, and we jumped at the opportunity. Apparently, he had been watching Lost while up in Montreal shooting The Fountain and got hooked.” Speaking of which, won’t this interfere with completing Fountain, the director’s six years-in-the-making sci-fi epic starring fiancée Rachel Weisz and Hugh Jackman? “I think he will be done,” speculates Cuse. “We scheduled it so that is coming on the heels of finishing The Fountain. And we will try to put together a story that will be well-suited for Darren’s talents and visual imagination.”

Reunited

Everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives. You know what I say? Leave your livestock alone.
-- Debi from Grosse Point Blank

So, my high school reunion was this Saturday. I had more fun than I am willing to admit. I mean, on the cover, it was pretty lame. It was held in one of our high school gyms -- and they chose the cheap ugly one, we paid $50 bucks each to attend and we were treated to supermarket red and white wine and some kegs of watered down beer. The food was okay. The DJ was laughable at best (when they turned the lights off like this was a high school dance, I damn near wanted to walk right out of there).

But it was fun to get together with my old friends and make fun of the same people we made fun of ten years ago.

A couple of observations:

• As I feared, being one of the three black guys in my graduating class (one didn't show up), everyone recognized me. I was at a severe disadvantage.
• I understand bringing your wife/husband/fiance but not your boy/girlfriend. That's just weird to me. For some of the people who brought significant others, I can see why. The people who at that point in there life, everyone was pretty sure they would end life alone. Those were the ones who came up to me like "Hey Sean, THIS is my girlfriend!" and gave me that "She's way out of my league but here she is with me" look.
• Quote of the night: "I named my daughter River...ya know...after the river." I kid you not. I will take that one with me to the grave.
• I realized that night how many people I didn't associate with in high school. There were large groups of people talking and reminiscing and I had absolutely no desire to talk to them. There were people I occasionally spoke to or classes with but I made my friends and never ventured past them. I prefer it that way.
• With the exception of two people (who I didn't think about seeing there) and one person who didn't show, I kept in touch with most of my good high school friends (or at least know how to get in touch if need be). I'm pretty proud of myself.
• I looked good in my suit.
  

My Super Sweet 16

After watching a couple of episodes, I decided that if I have a daughter, I am going to have her sign a legally binding contract that says if we got all out for her sweet sixteen, we, as her parents, are under no obligation to help pay for her wedding if/when she ever gets married.

Like a dummy, she'll sign it.

And then when she's in love and 25 and they announce that they are getting married, I'M just gonna go to my room and pull out this laminated document. Hand her a photocopy and say "Don't forget to send me an invite."

Low Fidelity

So I received my new iPod on Friday.

It's like getting a new puppy after your old one died.

He's already my best friend.

This weekend I took it to the next level.

On previous iPod, I had a variety of playlists -- by genre, by artist, by speed (slow vs. uptempo)

But this weekend, I officially became the Rob Gordon* of iPod.

I set up threee playlists.

Grade School, High School & College.

Yup, now I can listen to the music by where I was scholastically.

I love it.

and I'm a loser.

As one of my co-workers said to me last week after she had seen a balloon I had drawn a Charlie Brown face on hanging outside my cube:

"We need to get you a hobby...or a girlfriend"



*High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

There is a God, part 45709

First things first...

Even though I don't subscribe to any faith...actually I don't believe in religion at all (long story but the gist of it is, I can't believe that a supreme being would want religions set up like the NFL with different teams and divisions)

I believe in a Grand omnipotent Deity.

Let's call It "God" for short.

Sometimes you find yourself reminded that It exists.

For example...

A week or so ago, my iPod found itself unintentionally empty. I was fed up and decided to buy a new iPod (I sold my old one on Craigslist to help pay for it).

So for the last week while I was waiting for it to arrive, I have been ripping CDs, downloading music and loading all the music already had on my computer into iTunes so when my iPod arrived I could just load it all on and be good to go.

As of last night, I had about 5,300 songs loaded into iTunes.

So this morning, my computer was acting up so I resetted it. When it came back on and I went to the drive with all my music (and movies and digital pictures taken since 2003), the computer asked me if I wanted to format the drive.

Um, what?

The drive is gone. I can't even say it was erased. It is as if nothing was ever on it.

My iPod arrives today.

So in conclusion...

There has to be a god.

You can't make this kinda shit up.

Only God would find this funny.



Laugh it up!

Edit: The guy who I sold my old iPod to wants his money back. Says the damage is more than even I thought it was. Haha. Good form, Jesus.

Driving through Harlem

I don't know which I hate more:



or


Both make me want to punch the wearer of said shirt square in the chest.

I think the "Stop Snitching" shirts bother me the most because these are the same cats crying about "Who shot Bigge Smalls?" and "who shot Tupac?"

Maybe if there was a snitch, we'd know.

Melanism.com Shuffle #1

• It's hard to lose weight when you hate fruits and vegetables
• I have become quite a homebody. I can spend an entire weekend inside my apartment playing on my computer, listening to music, watching TV and reading. Every weekend I say I am going to go to a park and read something but it never happens...especially now that football season has started.
• It's funny how weddings can make you want to get marry and think you'll never get married all at the same time.
• Since fewer and fewer people appear to be getting married these days, I wonder how the makers of engagement rings are holding up?
  
• My iPod has evicted all it's tenants again. I think I am just going to buy a new one. We've had a good run.
• I complain about not having money and try to avoid using my credit card but the second I suspected my iPod was broken, I was all but willing to go in the hole 400 dollars to replace it.
• I am not going to believe the Yankees are making the playoffs until they are in the playoff. I just don't seeing our waiver wire pitching staff carrying us to the promised land.

A Pig Just Flew By My Window

"Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capabilities at all levels of government. And to the extent that the federal government didn't do its job fully right, I take responsibility."
--President Bush, September 13, 2005

1) Now, here's the catch.

"...to the extent that the federal government didn't do its job fully right..."

They are going to find ways to put as much of this on local and state as humanly possible (more than they already are) so when we look back, they can say "there wasn't much we could do given the circumstances, but it could have been a little better"

2) How fucked up is your presidency when you actually taking responsibility on some shit you are responsible for is breaking news on CNN?!?

"I see them little kids crying, I just think about my kids, about my son. You see little babies floating in the river. It's amazing. Amazing; these people are still just going. You complain about the littlest things. But we're so fortunate to breathe and walk, knowing all of this is going on."

"It's not even about money. The thing now is, it's more about everybody just coming together. Just trying to basically live as one. If this won't do it, then nothing will do it."

-- Stephon Marbury, after promising to donate between $500,000 & $1 Million in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts

*Hides under kitchen table*

If the Department of Homeland Security can't handle the after-effects of a hurricane it KNEW was coming, how am I to believe that they are ready to handle a SURPRISE terrorist attack?

And, damnit, I don't have a kitchen table!

Somebody had to say it...

one of us isn't reading from the teleprompter

Mike Myers: The landscape of the city has changed dramatically, tragically and perhaps irreversibly. There is now over 25 feet of water where there was once city streets and thriving neighborhoods.

Kanye West: I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family, it says, "They're looting." You see a white family, it says, "They're looking for food." And, you know, it's been five days [waiting for federal help] because most of the people are black. And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I've tried to turn away from the TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I'm calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give, and just to imagine if I was down there, and those are my people down there. So anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help -- with the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way -- and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us!


Myers: And subtle, but in many ways even more profoundly devastating, is the lasting damage to the survivors' will to rebuild and remain in the area. The destruction of the spirit of the people of southern Louisiana and Mississippi may end up being the most tragic loss of all.

West: George Bush doesn't care about black people!

See me...please

I think one of the saddest things in the world is that there are more powers in place to prevent the right things from happening than there are powers to make sure that it does...

It's my favorite time of year.

No, not football season, stupid.

Fall TV Season!!!

What new shows I interested in:

• Rome (already on)
• Prison Break (already on) - honestly, I'm so confused right now, this show is on probation
• Bones (Tuesday, Sept. 13, 8 pm) - I'll give Angel a chance
• Kitchen Confidential (Monday, Sept. 19)
• My Name Is Earl (Tuesday, Sept. 20) - C'mon, Jason Lee. Don't let me down.
• Invasion (Wednesday, Sept. 21, 10 pm) - One of the many shows this season trying to be Lost
• Everybody Hates Chris (Thursday, Sept. 22, 8 pm) - I'm just mad it's on the UPN
• Extras (Sunday, Sept. 25, 10:30 pm) - Even though I have the entire season on my computer
• Night Stalker (Thursday, Sept. 29, 9 pm) C'mon, Gabrielle Union. Don't let me down

Also, who decided that the following people should be allowed to work again:

• Michael Rappaport (The War at Home)
  
• Chris O'Donnell (Head Cases)
• Holly Robinson-Peete (Love, Inc.)
• Jennifer Love Hewitt (Ghost Whisperer)
• Denise Richards (Sex, Love & Secrets)
• Freddie Prinze, Jr. (Freddie - no, really)

Epiphany #178 b/w I'm a grownup

I am officially too old for the MTV Video Music Awards.

By the way, for everyone (read: ladies) who used this as justification for watching it (or any other celebrity event), who the f*ck cares what so-and-so is wearing?

Seriously?

I think the extreme popularity of US Weekly is the next level of social decline.

Why isn't it called THEM Weekly?

I'm gonna stop now.

-----------------------

I bought a suit today.

I feel grown.

Although I'm a little late to start feeling grown now.

No Dates On My Calendar

So with my new apartment and all my bills (Electric, Cable, Car Insurance, College Loans, etc.), i came to realization that...I can't afford a girlfriend.

I don't even think I can afford to date anyone.

Yeah, I know there are cheap dates you can go on but eventually, even I will get tired of the park or the beach or of Blockbusters.

Also, I like to give gifts so eventually I would spend money I don't have on a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc. I don't want to be one of those guys who has those dats circled in red with an "Oh Shit" written on the calendar.

I could get a second job but when would I have time to date.

I guess I need to find someone who is either rich or has an unusual medical condition that only allows her to eat Ramen noodles and items of Wendy's dollar menu. It would help if she does not celebrate pagan/Hallmark holidays (taking care of all December holidays and Valentine's Day), does not believe in the concept of "time" (eliminating the need for birthday and anniversaries) and who's favorite movies I already own and is content to watch them over and over again...

Am I asking for too much?

Well, 8 days isn't bad...

Maybe, I just won't drink after work.

Yeah, that's it.

That's the new rule.

Oh, that won't happen either.

It's not my fault that the water wasn't cold but the Corona's and sangria was.

The party was called "Margarita Madness".

What did you want me to do?

WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?!?!

I'm just a man....

*cries in shower*

Why I Am Never Drinking Again

Now, I know, everyone in their life has said this at least five times but this time I really mean it. As I think back to Thursday/Friday, I could not get Larry Miller's Five Levels of Drinking out of my head but that is besides the point. Allow me to embarass myself and recount this tale of woe.

So Thursday night, some co-workers and I went out to this spot Arriba, Arriba for a going-away party. They have these 60 oz. Margarita in a glass the size of a baby with down syndrome's head. So we each had one. Anyone who knows me knows I finished even this massive drink with the quickness. I ordered a medium (27 oz) and put that one away as well. I know I had a Heineken on top of that which we were there.

That is where the story gets a little fuzzy.

We went to another location at about 8 PM and met up with some more people. Even though I did not pull out my wallet once, I was told I had at least one beer and I may or may not have had a shot of something.

Acording to eyewitness testimony, I mysteriously left about 10:45 - 11:00 PM by myself for no reason.

I don't remember anything else.

I woke up around 4 AM on the 1 train at the last stop (Van Cortlandt Park-242 Street)...

Covered from chest to shoes* in my own vomit (dried vomit, I might add).

After the complete shock, I took the train back to 96th Street and started feeling quesy again so I got out to take a cab.

While I was waiting for a cab, a cute woman asked me if I wanted to split a cab with her. I said sure, not thinking "Oh my God, I'm covered in puke." All I thought was she had a better shot of getting a cab than I did. When we got in the cab, I climbed in first and kept my back to her. When we reached her stop (or the point where she couldn't take the smell anymore), she gave me two dollars (the ride had been 4 bucks up to that point but I was not in a position nor a state of mind to quibble).

When I finally got home, I had to take my car and park it on the opposite side of the street (anyone who has a car in the city knows how annoying this is) which took me another 15 minutes. So I got back into my apartment at 5 AM. My alarm usually goes off at 5:30 AM. So fo course I thought "I'll just lie down for a little bit". I have to be at work by 8 AM. I woke up at 10 AM.

I still came into work. I refuse to be "that person" who goes out for drinks with co-workers and then calls out sick. Because all everyone does is talk about how much of a punk they are (Sorry, Kev). But when I got there, I was happy to find out that I did not throw up at the bar or make any type of ass of myself in public in front of co-workers. Whatever happened to me happened on the way to or on the subway.

Oh yeah, the best part...when I was emptying out my pockets, I found a $10 bill that I am 90% sure I did not have before. I think someone gave it to me because they thought I was homeless.

So from now on, I am the Cranberry Juice bitch**.

* It's a gross picture. You have been warned.
** Unless I throw a party at home where my bed is less than 10 feet away.

Bye...

...Nate, David, Claire, Ruth, Keith, Rico & Brenda.

You'll be missed...

A Message from the MTA (and Melanism.com)