Ms. jackson if ya nasty

The Art of Psychological War, Part 1

I've always believed this and please feel free to let me know if I'm wrong.

But if you really want to take a girl down from her pedastal...

Call her fat.

Not angry or yelling or in a "Oh Yeah" kinda way.

Just very matter-of-factly.

Examples:

"Have you put on some weight? No, seriously" (then tilt to get a view of their rear)
"Did you have a big breakfast/lunch/dinner?" (playfully pat the tummy)
"Us fat people gotta stick together."

You get the picture.

While this may not be as effective to your really big girl who has come to terms with her weight, the skinny/in shape girls are easy targets.

The skinnier they are, the fatter they believe they are.

In order of effect:
1. The slightly chubby girls who are not fat but not skinny enough to be labeled skinny. When they sit down, they got a lil roll.
2. Girls who go to the gym alot but don't have a six pack
3. Naturally skinny girls. They might take it as a compliment because they have probably heard all their life how they ned to gain weight.
4. Fat girls.

Now, when you say this, don't expect an immediate reaction.

They'll probably laught it off and say whatever.

But when they go home...

When no one's around...

They will be looking at their ass in the mirror and they won't be having that slice of cake for dessert.

Game. Set. Match.

You Stupid Bitch!*

Why do people cheat on reality shows?

Actually I take that back. i'm sure people cheat on reality shows for the same reason people cheat everywhere.

That being said, why do people confess about cheating on reality TV?

I mean, if you don't care about your significant other and have been looking for a way out, by all means blow up his spot on TV

But if you still want to be with them...Wait until the show is over, dumbass.

Then you and your love can have an OFF-CAMERA chat about it and we won't find out if everything was worked out until the reunion during sweeps the following year.

Instead these morons make themselves and their boy/girlfriend look like a fool on NATIONAL TV.

Do that to me and you better stay where you are.

Actually, if I was dating someone on a reality show and they cheated on me and I got that call, I would act all serial killer calm:

Girl: Sean?

Me: Hi, baby!

Girl: I have something horrible to tell you.

Me: (concerned) What is it?

Girl (sobbing): I slept with someone. It only happened once and I'm so so..

Me: (Interupting) Ok. Did I tell you that I got a raise?

Girl: (sniffling): What?

Me: I got a raise. Isn't that great?

Girl: (yelling with a snot bubble) DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I slept with someone.

Me: I know. I heard. Can I call you back? Sopranos is coming on and I heard someone gets whacked this week.

And I would never talk about her sleeping with that dde until she came home.

Why? You ask

Because she would be mentally tortured for the rest of her stay.

And, I'm not making an ass of myself on TV.

At least, not like that.

*Shandi's boyfriend upon finding out she had sex with someone in Milan.

Don't you forget about me...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Go see it.

I think this may end up as my favorite romance film since When Harry Met Sally

But you might still hate it...so don't hold it against me