Confessions of a Bridesman

So one Friday night in February, I was hanging out with my engaged friends, Hannah and Tyson, in Brooklyn. They were getting married in June and we got to talking about their wedding. I made a drunken joke asking Hannah how come I wasn't in her wedding party. She said if someone in her bridal party drops out, I'm the backup. Haha. We laughed and continued to drink.

The following Monday, I get an IM from Hannah saying that her maid of honor can't come to the wedding because she's pregnant and can't fly over (she's from England). I tell her that sucks and I'm sorry to hear that.

Hannah: "Yeah, so you're in."

Me: "What?"

I swear for about three weeks, I refused to believe her. I really thought she was just fucking with me and, because of that, I really couldn't get excited about it. At any moment, I was waiting for her to say, "Oh, honey. I was just kidding." But then she started sending information for where to go for my tux fitting. Then I got honored and excited.

Fast forward to last week, the wedding day arrived and instead of running around with the groomsmen and the groom, I was hanging out with the bride. Now, maybe it's because Hannah was probably the most chilled, relaxed bride ever (Her repeated line: "I just want to drink and eat") but this was a shitload of fun. I didn't have a bouquet but I put a flower behind my ear to match with my fellow bridespeople.

As we waited to walk down the aisle, Eric, the groomsman I was paired up with, and I couldn't decide how to walk down the aisle (arms in front, hands in our pockets) so we agreed to walk down the aisle arm-in-arm. Everyone got a great laugh out of it, especially the groom.

Ladies, you are probably thinking that you shouldn't have a guy in your bridal party but let me tell you the advantages:

1. Speed: I swear it took my fellow bridespeople 3 plus hours to get ready with makeup and hair and all. When it was time to go, I just popped on my suit and I was ready. One less person to worry about.
2. Shoes: Say someone forgets something at the last second and someone has to run and get it. It's better to have someone not wearing heels to do it.
3. Pockets: Bridesmaids tend to get choked up during a wedding but they have nowhere to put tissues. I kept tissues in my inside jacket pocket and passed them out as needed.

Gentlemen, if you are ever asked to be a groomsman, you might want to bring a date because you will be fighting off questions about your heterosexuality.