Alone Again Or

Yeah, I heard a funny thing
Somebody said to me
You know that I could be in love with almost everyone
I think that people are
The greatest fun
And I will be alone again tonight my dear
- "Alone Again Or" by Love

So I think I have crossed a line where I have been single so long, I can't imagine being with anyone.

So this month will make it three years that I have been unencumbered with the wants and needs of another human being that isn't of my blood single*.

This is generally what happens to me. I go through long spells between relationships (Before my last relationship, it had been four years). But this time feels different because I no longer feel open to the idea of having a girlfriend.

I know this is kinda pathetic but I've gotten used to being selfishly concerned with my own wants.

I've gotten used to having time to doing the things I want to do and not having to do stuff I have no interest in doing. I've probably only seen a handful of bad chick flicks in the theater and most of those were by choice.

I like always being available to go out or to stay in. I love never having to ask "Well, what do you want to do/want to eat"

I don't know if I can see myself dating some which what cut into all this "me" time I'm used to.

Is it a lonely life I lead? Maybe. I have friends. I have stuff to do. I never find myself thinking, "I'm lonely". More likely, I'm thinking "I'm bored".

And I do bore myself a lot but at least it is a victimless crime.

I'm not a blind idiot. I know all it will take is one pair of pretty eyes, one kiss or one acquaintance to go left instead of right to make me renounce this post as the work of a ghostwriter.

That's why this will be the first post I delete when that happens.

* Just kidding, future love of my life.