Movie of the Week: Superman Returns

What if Jesus was a superhero? What if the devil was...um, bald? What if you combined Superman with The Notebook?

Ok, there was a lot of things to love. The special effects were great. The reverence for Richard Donner's Superman and Superman II was appreciated. But there was just something...missing.

After I got over the feeling of a watching a new Superman movie in 2006 that didn't involve Richard Pryor (R.I.P.) or Nuclear Man, I felt very detached from the movie.

I enjoyed all the scenes of Superman being...well Superman. Saving people, cheering crowds. The plane crash scene was amazing and I can't wait to see that in IMAX 3D but then it lost it's way and became a chick flick.

• Brandon Routh was great...as Clark Kent. His Superman was okay. He wasn't bad but he lacked the earnest humor than Christopher Reeve brought to the role. Don't feel bad, Brandon. Reeve is an impossible act to follow - we're talking the best comic character brought to life ever. When there are enough comic book movies around that there are comic book movie awards and there is a lifetime achievement award, it will be called The Christopher Reeve Award of Excellence (or something like that). You know who would have made a great Superman...
• So there's the scene where Clark is back at the Daily Planet and Lois introduces him to her boyfriend, Richard, who was played by James Marsden (For the guys, Cyclops from the X-Men films; for the women, the guy Rachel McAdams wrongfully cheats on in The Notebook). As the camera turns to him, I was like "Wow, he should have been Superman." The right build, he's tall, he looks like Christopher Reeve so it wouldn't have been a weird transition, and he's pretty good at playing morally uptight square guys. Major blunder to cast a guy who would be better suited to play Superman, Mr. Singer.
• This is probably the best acting job I've ever seen Kate Bosworth do...but she still wasn't right as Lois Lane. I mean, she got the reporter thing down but she lacked Lois' spunk. If this is a direct sequel to the Richard Donner films, Lois was a "I don't take shit from anyone" woman and Margot Kidder played it perfectly. This is the same woman who hit the gun when her and Clark were being mugged, snuck into the Eiffel Tower to spy on terrorists by hanging on the bottom of a elevator and jumped into a river because she was so convinced that Clark was Superman. I didn't feel like Kate Bosworth's Lois would have done any of that.
• Welcome back, Kevin Spacey. How I've missed you. These are the kind of roles that we fell in love with Kevin Spacey for. Not that The Shipping News/Pay It Forward crap. I want Spacey the mean funny sardonic asshole that blew my mind in Swimming With Sharks. I hope this is a good sign for the future and not a blip in the current spiraling of your career.
• Frank Langella sucked as Perry White. He had some great lines but lacked the energy and fire an editor of the number one paper in Metropolis should have.
  
• Why cast Kal Penn (Kumar from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle) and give him one line and just have him be a nameless henchman? What a waste. Maybe he's friends with Bryan Singer.
  
• The movie was way too long. I'm almost getting tired of saying this about movies. It was King Kong too long. It dragged like a busted muffler. Why is Hollywood afraid to make a 90-105 minute movie? Seriously. Is there some sort of research I missed that said America likes it's movies dragged out and as long as possible?
  
• I don't like this Superman as Jesus shit that seemed to be implied in the movie. The term 'savior' got thrown around too much. Superman is not Jesus. Superman, at least in my opinion, is a alien who was raised as a human with a good moral code who is just doing "the right thing" because he has the ability to. He's not here to "save us", just here to help.
• I don't think they can (or should) do a sequel. It's hard doing Superman stories (which is why the comic has sucked for quite some time). There's three types of successful Superman stories (all of which have been used in the movies): 1) Superman faces off against someone equal in strength to him (II, III, IV), 2) Superman faces off against Lex Luthor or a villain with Kryptonite (I, III, Returns) or 3) Superman is put to the limits of his power by trying to be in two places at once (I, Returns).
• I find it hard to believe that Superman would just up and leave for five years. Sorry, someone with THAT strong a moral code would not do that. Of course, he also wouldn't make a move (however slight) on a woman with a boyfriend so what do I know?
• Before I talk about the spoiler stuff, the whole Clark Kent works with a bunch of reporters and is in love with the best reporter in the city and no one can put together that Clark Kent and Superman returned on the exact same day (only Lois's kid kinda caught on). It would have been one thing if Clark came back and a couple of days later, Superman showed up or vice versa. But THE SAME DAY! C'mon.
  

Okay on to more spoiler-ish stuff.

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• Ok, at the end of the movie, Superman lifts the humogous crystal city that Lex Luthor created and threw it into space. Not into the sun but into space. Um, I'm not scientist but won't that huge landmass become a meteorite that will destroy one of our neighboring planets. Way to think it through, Kal-El.
• Also, won't those remaining crystals be a problem?
  
• By giving a Superman a kid, Bryan Singer has taken the mythology of Superman and Da Vinci Code-d it.
• I'm not mad about the whole kid thing. It was a cool twist. I wish DC had the balls to do something like this in the comics. The Superman story is legendary. You have to create some twists and turns to keep it fresh. But still, Superman has x-ray vision & super hearing, he didn't know she was pregnant before he left.
• How do you end a Superman movie without him bringing Lex Luthor to justice? That was just lame.

Spider-Man 3 Trailer

I think I have a geek hard-on

Seven Days Until 29 Years

That's right, my birthday is in seven days.

What's that, you say? You want to get me a present?

Well the Amazon.com Wish List is still in effect.

Now, if I didn't get you a present for your birthday that has already passed, you should not feel obligated to get me anything.

However...

...if I DID get you a present for your birthday that has already passed, you should totally feel obligated to buy me something.

Furthermore, if your birthday has not passed and you would like to receive a present from someone who does not share your blood or your bed, what better way to send that message than to buy me a present first.

The choice is yours!

New York Magazine's The Urban Etiquette Handbook

http://newyorkmetro.com/guides/etiquette/17332/index.html

Some of it seems like common sense but then again, how many people do you know with common sense? Even a rapper named Common Sense didn't have any for awhile:

Jay-Z Rehearsal Concert @ Nokia Theater

Well, that's another one off "The List"...

So Bill IMs me on Thursday night asking me if I wanted a free ticket to this Jay-Z rehearsal show on Saturday to which I said "of course" (this may seem like a nice interaction but Bill asked me in a more dickhead-like way and, later, took one of my tickets away from me because he thought I was one of the people who he didn't think was possible to get someone to go with them...in case you are wondering why I didn't ask anyone to go to me).

So, Saturday, after I went to the movies (Click) with friends, I decided to make my way to the Nokia theater. Doors opened at 8:30 and I got there like 7:10. The line started forming but there could not have been more than 40 people ahead of me and I was like "Cool". I put on my iPod and started reading some comic books.

Rule #1, 5 and 17 of Waiting on Line: If you don't want someone to join you in line or don't feel comfortable letting someone cut in line, no eye contact. That's why I brought the comic books. Someone who joined me in line that I didn't mind did not adhere to this rule which not only allowed 4 people to join us in line but those 4 people got in to the theater before us.

No matter, we got a really good spot at the stairway to the right of the stage.

Now that was 8:45 PM.

?uestlove had a really good DJ set where he played a lot of sampled soul records.

And that was cool.

For an hour.

Although by 2 and half hours later, I was ready to go outside and scalp my ticket.

When the show finally started at 11:15 (!), the curtains pulled back and there was Jay-Z, ?uestlove and the Illadelphonics and a fucking orchestra. Nice!

Jay-Z went through all the songs on Reasonable Doubt (celebrating the 10th anniversary of it's release) and hit us with the sequel to "22 Two's", "44 Four's", which was really hot.

Memphis Bleek and Sauce Money (who has gained at least 125 pounds and should go by the moniker of "Extra Sauce Money" or "BBQ Sauce Money") did their verses. I was expecting (hoping) that Mary J. Blige ("Can't Knock The Hustle") or Foxy Brown ("Ain't No N!gga") would come out for their parts or Nas would do the chorus of "Dead Presidents" (although he was in the VIP section) but it wasn't to be. It was only a rehearsal (Genius idea btw, charge $100 dollars for tickets but by calling it a rehearsal you are not guranteeing the quality of the performance).

After he finished those tracks and the band and orchestra left the stage, Jay & Memphis Bleek did a good set of snippets of Jay-Z's hits which got the crowd amped. He could have gone on all night long. The only thing that sucked is when he did your favorite song, he would cut it off and move quickly on to the next.

All and all, it was a great night.

Thanks for the tickets, ?uest...sigh...and Bill. Now if ?uest would just get good enough to be on Prince's band so we can get some free tickets to his shows.

Two side notes:

1. The only rappers who can do a show like this -- i.e. number and quality of songs -- are Jay-Z, Outkast, Run DMC (although DMC can't perform anymore) and LL Cool J (but LL would probably ruin it by doing songs released after Mr. Smith). I'm sure I'm missing someone but I doubt it.
   
2. Seeing Jay-Z Saturday took him off "The List of People I would Like to See Perform While They Are Still Relevant". I've seen Prince, Omar, Lewis Taylor, D'Angelo & Me'Shell Ndegeocello. I'm going to see Fiona Apple on July 25th which would leave me with Outkast and Radiohead.

Movie of the Week Pt. 2: Click

I know it wasn't on the list but...

I actually liked it. I don't know why I'm surprised.
No matter how bad they seem on paper, there's always something amusing - even on the crudest of levels - about Adam Sandler flicks. There is not one Adam Sandler movie I have ever seen that I really hated and wouldn't watch again if it wasn't on cable (I still haven't seen 50 First Dates or Mr. Deeds or that animated Hanukkah flick)

It was funny but towards the end it got really depressing.

You could feel the audience-vibe saying "Bring back the funny."

I wouldn't be surprised if some people cried.

Still I enjoyed it.

Maybe I'll add 50 First Dates to my Netflix queue.

Side note: When did Kate Beckinsale go from indie girl with a British accent to eye candy? I guess it was Pearl Harbor.

Movie of The Week: Nacho Libre

Hm. This is a tough one.

Did you like Napoleon Dynamite? You'll probably like this but it's not as good nor as wacky. There is actually a plot (if anyone actually knows what the plot of Napoleon Dynamite is, please let me know)

Do you like Jack Black? Then you'll love this movie. This is really his showcase. It was funny because there were a few moments where Nacho Libre Jack Black would turn into Tenacious D Jack Black (The "Encarnación" song before the last fight was classic and made me angry that there was not a soundtrack that featured that song)

Héctor Jiménez as Esqueleto was great as Nacho's tag team partner.

The wrestling was fun at first but then got boring after awhile.

Actually, so did the movie. It really dragged in the middle.

I wish Hollywood wasn't afraid to make a 70-80 minute movie.

The Apocalypse Has Arrived

You b!tch a$$ motherf*cker!!

The New York Knicks fired coach Larry Brown on Thursday, replacing him as coach with president and general manager Isiah Thomas.

The Knicks finished 23-59 in Brown's first and only season at the helm.

"Larry has had a long and storied career. We hired him last summer with the expectation that he would be with the Knicks for a long time. Sometimes decisions work and sometimes they don't," MSG Chairman James L. Dolan said. "After careful consideration, despite the best intentions from everyone involved, this current structure did not work for us last season and I did not think it was going to improve next season."

Thomas, who joined the Knicks as president and general manager on Dec. 22, 2003, previously served as a head coach with the Indiana Pacers for three seasons from 2000-01 through 2002-03. His Pacers teams were 131-115 record, making the playoffs in each of his three seasons.

"No one in our organization is happy with last season and we all accept responsibility for our performance," Thomas said. "This has been a difficult time for the entire organization and our fans. Today begins the 2006-07 season for the Knicks, and I strongly believe we are on the right track to take major steps in our rebuilding process to achieve our goal of being one of the premier teams in the NBA."

Matt Groening Found Fry's Lucky Seven Leaf Clover

BACK TO THE 'FUTURAMA'
By DON KAPLAN

June 22, 2006 -- 'FUTURAMA" is officially back from the dead.

The quirky animated show from "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening was canceled by Fox about two years ago, but will return with at least 13 new episodes on Comedy Central by 2008.

This is only the second time in television history that a show sent to TV's trash heap has been resurrected. Curiously, the first was "Family Guy," also an animated Fox show.
The tale of "Futurama's" dramatic revival roughly follows that same path that "Family Guy" did.

In both cases, the shows have been successfully airing on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim late-night programming block. They both also turned into hot-selling DVD box sets.

"Family Guy" returned to Fox earlier this year, while last fall, Comedy Central outbid Adult Swim for the license to air all 52 episodes of "Futurama" and whatever new episodes might one day be produced.

This week, deals were inked to secure all of the original voice talent and the production staff of "Futurama," paving the way for the series' return to TV.

The show stars voice-over megastar Billy West (whose elastic vocal chords have provided the voices for nearly 120 different cartoons) as Philip J. Fry, a bumbling slacker from the 20th century who is accidentally cryogenically frozen in 1999 and wakes up 1,000 years later.

It is believed that the new episodes will also be released on DVD.

"Futurama" star Katey Sagal confirmed the return of the show on Comedy Central Tuesday night during an appearance on Craig Ferguson's "Late Late Show."

On Fox, "Futurama" never developed the same buzz or following of its sister show, "The Simpsons," but has since become one of the biggest shows on Adult Swim.

Fox may also have the option to air the new episodes, although it is highly unlikely to do so, according to industry sources.

Open Letter to Samm Levine

You are a pretty funny actor.

But after your appearance on "Entourage" last night, I think it's time for you to fire your agent.

You are 24 years old and you have been playing the high school geek for the better part of your acting career.

Not to say you are not good at it.

But, c'mon, buddy, this is getting ridiculous.

Take some HGH and get diesel.

How To Make A Rom-Com

So I started watching Something New (starring Sanaa Lathan) last night and watched a little this morning. I avoided it in the theaters, not because I didn't think it was going to be good, but because I thought it was not going to be anything different.

You can change the elements (black guy/girl + white guy/girl + career/aspirations or dreamers vs. doers, etc.) but the formula is always the same...

a) Characters meet (immediate attraction not required)
b) Overcome initial trepidation to date or have sex than date
c) Moments of happiness accompanied by a montage of sex and dating with a happy and/or upbeat song
d) Conflict - social (friends, family), personal (career) or the whole "this can't work, we're opposites"
e) Separation
f) Reflection accompanied with a montage of alone time with a sad and/or slow song
g) Self-realization that the relationship taught you things you didn't know about yourself or self-realization that friends/family/career doesn't run their life
h) Reconnection
i) Reconciliation
j) Credits

Some movies like to leave a few out or mix and match but that is your basic romantic comedy formula.

I should be embarassed I haven't tried to write one.

Maybe that's why I like The Break-Up so much.

Maybe I'll be wrong about Something New.

But when I paused it this morning, we were at D

Update: I just finished watching. I was right. Thank you, Netflix.

(Thanks Kristy for being my sounding board)

Melky Being Melky

Movie of the Week: The Break-Up

This was the first movie this summer I loved.

Not to say I didn't like Over The Hedge and M:I:3 but as we watched the credits, I thought to myself I LOVE this movie.

Now I know it has gotten a lot of bad reviews.

But I honestly couldn't see why...

First of all, let me tell you what it isn't.

It's not Wedding Crashers. It's not Anchorman. It's not a Frat Pack film. It's not Swingers or Made (although the scenes between Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn are funny and make you wish they would get off their asses and make another movie together).

It isn't a zany comedy although there are some zany scenes (mostly the ones in the trailer).

It was just a really good movie about a failing relationship. Probably one of the best romantic comedies I have seen in a long time because as silly as the arguments seem, everyone has felt like Jennifer Aniston and/or Vince Vaughn in a relationship in its dying days. It felt almost like an indie movie.

More than any movie I can recall, it shows the lessons you can learn about yourself when you realize that some of the problems in a relationship are your fault and there is such a thing as "too late".

So fuck the critics and see this movie (well, it opened #1 so that shouldn't be a problem).

When this comes out on DVD, I will have a double feature of this and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

One warning: if you are on a relationship that is already on shaky ground, I don't know if this makes a good date movie. It may make you laugh at some of the sillier arguments you have had. Or it may make you think when was the last time you did the dishes. Or the last time she tried to tell you something without telling you something.

Lemonade

Too much is made about the negatives of being single so I decided to point out some silver linings in the clouds...at least that is relevant to me:

• You don't have to watch a TV show or movie you hate in the spirit of "fairness"
• You don't have to cringe every time she orders something she wouldn't have gotten if she knew she was paying
• Everyone else in your life gets better presents because you don't have to save up for that one "special" present around the holidays
• You know those nasty habits that you usually lose when you have a girlfriend? They aren't nasty anymore.
• You get to stop watching that other soap opera that comes with being in a relationship, "Her Job," starring a bunch of people you may or may not have met but seem to know every detail about.
• The only time you'll hear "I hate when you..." or "How can you..." is during an intervention
• You don't have to stylistically match someone when you go out (i.e. if you are going to a party and she's dressed up, you can't wear the Urban Outfitters t-shirt and sandals)

If I ever get another girlfriend, I'll probably delete this post so enjoy it for the next 2 years.