Why Jennifer Lopez Isn't The Shit...(revisited)

When I first started this little website (before there was a blogger.com) in March 2001, this was the first thing I wrote about. Now I personally have grown physically, mentally and emotionally. However, 2 marriages, a gang of bad movies and a clothing line later and I still feel the same way about her.

why Jennifer lopez isn't the shit...
(March 6, 2001)

now, i will not deny that Jennifer Lopez is a damn fine looking women.

if i could bag her, i would...

My boy, Dee, would kill me if i didn't BUT...I have problems with her...

as most of us know, jennifer lopez...sorry...j-lo, got her start as a dancer, most notably on keenan ivory wayans skit comedy "in living color". back then, she looked aight. Definitely, not the "flyest" fly girl (i wonder what they are up to anyway...now that Bobby Brown isn't making videos anymore)

then she was in Money Train with Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson which she was ok in. it was a nice little debut (mainly because she showed breast when boning Wesley Snipes' transit cop-who-knows-kung-fu character)

then the movies roles started coming in. she played selena (who coincidentally had a bigger, nicer ass than j-lo), u-turn (another sex scene), & out of sight (the real story should have been when george clooney stopped tilting his damn head when he spoke)...and she was aight in all those movies. she didn't suck but nothing to keep you eye on as a rising talent.

then "on the 6 came out". what the fuck??? she can't sing. i mean she can hold a couple of notes, i'll give her that much but her vocals are doubled up (the effect 2pac used on a lot of joints) and the songs are soooooo overproduced that it could make anyone sound semi-decent. the mtv exposure was extensive because she is fine and of course, there's her ass.

now, she does have a big ass. but, c'mon, damn near every tight african/african-american/carribean-american actress has got a tight ass and body to boot. same thing applies to angeline jolie's "full" lips (for the record, i would bag her if i could too). her ass ain't singing. her ass can't act.

and she had the nerve to come out with ANOTHER album.

came on saturday night live as host and musical guest and she LIP-SYNCHED. this ain't soul train.

why don't i find jennifer lopez to be the end-all be-all? because she's not good at what she does.

thandie newton is a fine woman who can act.

sade is a fine woman who can sing and write.

jennifer lopez is a fine woman who tries to sing and gets to act because she is fine.

she's a trumped-up janet jackson backup dancer.

maybe a model.

tops.

so what? i'm a hater.