Kung Fu Monkey

Good News & Bad News

The good news is I have uploaded all my digital photos onto Flickr (over 1700 photos). Feel free to laugh at pictures of me as old as 1999.

The bad news is if I ever took a digital photo of you, there is an 85% chance it's up there too.

Sorry...

Things That Might Make My Life Better (or More Interesting)

Some goddamn point a man's due to stop arguing with his-self and feeling twice the goddamn fool he knows he is 'cause he can't be something he tries to be every goddamn day without once getting to dinnertime and fucking it up. I don't want to fight it anymore, understand me Charlie? And I don't want you pissing in my ear about it. Can you let me go to hell the way I want to?
- Wild Bill Hickok from Deadwood

These things are always on my mind but maybe if I write them down and publicly admit them, I'll be more likely to do them...

• Learning how to cook from a recipe (as opposed to the microwave option I naturally gravitate towards)
  
• Learning another language
• Saving money like I'm going to have a long life
  
• Stop spending money like I'm going to have a short one
• Go to the doctor for a check-up for the first time a decade (to see if I can ignore #3 or #4)
• Go to the dentist (so it doesn't hurt when I eat candy)
  
• Don't watch so much TV (not that I have to stop watching my shows but during that time when I'm just flipping channels)
  
• Read more books
• Watch more documentaries
• Stop buying DVDs that I'm never going to watch more than once
• Stop buying video games that I'm not going to make time to play
• Make time to play the video games I have
• Stop spending so much money on comic books (if you only knew how much I spend in a month)
• Learn to do my job better (or get a new job)
  
• Pay off my credit cards before making any other major purchases
• Travel somewhere outside the U.S. that's not England (although I do want to go back)
• Call my parents more
• Call other people more
• Answer my phone when people call and I'm watching TV (not like I couldn't pause it)
  
• Spend less time aimlessly surfing the internet
• Spend less money on buying alcohol
• Don't use going to the gym as an excuse to eat poorly
• Stop buying amusing t-shirts and buy regular clothes
  
• Stop buying clothes you never get around to wearing
• Dust your room more regularly
• Go out more often
• Be more social when I do go out
• Don't use payday as an excuse to go shopping
• Ride that bike you bitched about getting from UPS
• Blog more about myself instead what I'm watching or reading (mostly watching)
  

Who are we kidding though. It's not like I'm going to do 98% of the things on this list but at least if you see me not doing any of these things, you have permission to openly judge me.

What's on your mental "to-do" list?

*This was going to be another 100 Things list but even I'm not that screwed up that there are 100 things that could improve my life.

The Chess & Checkers Theory

I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back.
- Ron Burgandy

So I have this theory about relationships I constantly refer to call "The Chess/Checkers Theory." Here's the gist of it:

• Women are playing chess
• Men are playing checkers
• Women think men are playing chess
• Men think women are playing checkers

Now, of course, this does not apply to all men and women but it does apply to a lot of them.

Questions?

The Best New Show Last Year Has The Best DVD Packaging

How dope is this?

This is the only show I neglected to leave off my The 200 Greatest Television Shows I Ever Watched list