Rebound Pope?

Let me get this straight

Pope John Paul died at the age of 84

Pope Benedict is already 78.

That sounds like a term limit to me.

Did they give this guy a physical?

It seems to me that they were in there like "Our relationship with John Paul lasted so long. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment right now. Let's pick John. Sounds like he had a pretty bad cough in the bathroom."

Dear Drunk White Sports Fan...

Don't touch a big black guy unless you want to fight...

It doesn't matter how much money he makes.

The same rules that apply in bars and clubs apply in the stands

I don't care if it's Gary Sheffield, Ron Artest or Ahmad Rashad.

Don't believe me?

Swing on Al Roker while he's doing the weather outside for the Today show.

Watch what happens

Is there anything more American than...

...piggin out with a Diet Coke?

Kevin Federline

His sperm must wear glasses.

I think he had Lasik done on his scrotum.

Because his boys can SWIM!

He better not cheat. He'll knock that girl up in a minute.

Following the Breadcrumbs

I decided to look up my OLD posts on Melanism.com.

How old?

A little over four years old (March 01 -April 02)

Before there was a "Blogger.com" and I did everything with HTML tags (I can't even remember how to use HTML anymore. Blogger.com has made me lazy)

A couple of observations...

• I watched way too many movies in that period of time.
• I used to update this site alot but that was more indicative of how little I had to do at my last job.
  
• I really should have spell checked these but they took so long to tag that if I made an error, I was not going back to fix it.
• My goal was to have an apartment by 2002. A matter of fact, it was one of the first things I posted about (March 01). Yeah, that really panned out.
• I skipped over anything I wrote about my last ex except to note I am such a fucking sap. I wouldn't date me after reading some of this crap
• I think I really suffered from depression.
• I really had a hard-on for Radiohead (6/01)
  
• I was really into Playstation 2. I don't even touch that thing now.
• The Five Deadly Venom Spitterz was a really bad idea. I'm glad it wasn't mine.
• I must have been really deluded to give Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back three and a half stars. I wasn't even high or drunk when I saw it (not that I do that). I had no excuse
  
• I can't believe I actually pleaded with the Yankees to get Jason Giambi (11/01). I brought it on myself.
• I never did get that personalized jersey with "Melanism" on the back
• I was unemployed for awhile. I have a shitty credit report to prove it.
• Most importantly, after reading this, I realize that I haven't acheived anything since I started Melanism.com. Why am I doing this again?