Is there anything more American than...

...piggin out with a Diet Coke?

Kevin Federline

His sperm must wear glasses.

I think he had Lasik done on his scrotum.

Because his boys can SWIM!

He better not cheat. He'll knock that girl up in a minute.

Following the Breadcrumbs

I decided to look up my OLD posts on Melanism.com.

How old?

A little over four years old (March 01 -April 02)

Before there was a "Blogger.com" and I did everything with HTML tags (I can't even remember how to use HTML anymore. Blogger.com has made me lazy)

A couple of observations...

• I watched way too many movies in that period of time.
• I used to update this site alot but that was more indicative of how little I had to do at my last job.
  
• I really should have spell checked these but they took so long to tag that if I made an error, I was not going back to fix it.
• My goal was to have an apartment by 2002. A matter of fact, it was one of the first things I posted about (March 01). Yeah, that really panned out.
• I skipped over anything I wrote about my last ex except to note I am such a fucking sap. I wouldn't date me after reading some of this crap
• I think I really suffered from depression.
• I really had a hard-on for Radiohead (6/01)
  
• I was really into Playstation 2. I don't even touch that thing now.
• The Five Deadly Venom Spitterz was a really bad idea. I'm glad it wasn't mine.
• I must have been really deluded to give Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back three and a half stars. I wasn't even high or drunk when I saw it (not that I do that). I had no excuse
  
• I can't believe I actually pleaded with the Yankees to get Jason Giambi (11/01). I brought it on myself.
• I never did get that personalized jersey with "Melanism" on the back
• I was unemployed for awhile. I have a shitty credit report to prove it.
• Most importantly, after reading this, I realize that I haven't acheived anything since I started Melanism.com. Why am I doing this again?
  

I Weep for the Future

Every once and awhile, while hanging out with my friends or my brother, I am struck with a thought that terrorizes me and should terrorize every living human being...

These silly ass fools, myself included, may have children one day and be responsible for their well-being.

What screwed up little monster they will be...

God have mercy on the world we leave behind.

The definition of sexism

I am at this party and the lady bartender ("bartendress"?) is kinda cute...

But aren't they always?

Then it hit me...

Female bartending is probably the second most sexist industry in America (although they are cute in the UK too)

The first being stripping.

Think about it.

Have you ever seen an ugly female bartender? Not necessarily attractive to you but you can definately see why she could be viewed as attractive to someone else.

Shit, have you ever seen a fat female bartender (in the bar owner defense, it would be hard for a big woman to navigate behind the bar)?

It's like that diner Elaine went to in "Seinfeld" where all the waitresses had large breasts.

(I know...I watch too much TV)