Tuesday, February 27, 2007

24 Season Six: 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM

Body Count: 7

I hope Obama doesn't watch 24.

Presidential Bunker:
It's a shame that Baby Palmer got blown up just when he was starting to grow a pair. His conversation with the diplomat were the first signs of him acting presidential. Bauer getting him to release Logan even though he had his brother killed showed him acting like a true Palmer. I don't understand how they thought that bomb was going to kill the President when he wasn't even that close to it. Anyway, he's not dead. They had the balls to nuke Valencia but to kill two Black presidents would just be too much to handle. And Lennox proved that only Jack Bauer can escape from being duct tape to a pipe. Jack should teach at The Learning Annex.

Fayed, Gredenko and The Nukes:
I have no idea what's going on here but these bad guys suck.

CTU:
It would be nice if everyone acted with the urgency that three nukes should bring. Just when I thought, "Finally, someone in the show takes a dump," it ends up Morris was drinking in the stall. I'm beginning to miss Edgar's lisp ("Chwoe?"). Nice pointless cameo by Bart Simpson as Morris former AA sponsor. By the way, I haven't mentioned this so far this season but I would like to thank the producers and casting directors of 24 for filling the void left Reiko Aylesworth (Michelle Dessler).


Nadia, I will always note your objection


Bauer and Logan:
I'm glad we are done with the Bauer family. If I had to endure one more inapproriate Bauer face stroke, I was going to puke. It was great to get back to the great acting of Gregory Itzin but they filmed the showdown between Jack and Logan like a Spanish telenovela. I was kind of annoyed that Logan and Jack took their sweet ass time getting ready to go. Another day, another communist consulate. Second times a charm. Oh wait. It's third. Jack's in trouble again.

No Bauer moments to remember but I hope I can forget the creepy face stroking.

Friday, February 23, 2007

No Look-A-Like Me

Usher? Really? I don't see it

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Lost Season Three: "Stranger in a Strange Land"

He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us.

What I Liked:
  • Only Ben can be creepy lying on his side immobilized
  • All interactions between Jack and Juliet
  • Sawyer's man-to-boy talk with Karl
What I didn't like:
  • ABC's ads for this episode wrote a check the episode couldn't cash
  • Jack's backstory hit the trifecta - it was boring, confusing and seemingly pointless. I think we should be done with Jack backstories for the time being.
  • I don't care how hot Bai Ling (Achera) is. Her acting is awful.
  • The music montage at the end. Save that trite for Grey's Anatomy
  • This was the worst episode of season three.
What We Learned:
  • The Others have a sheriff named Isabel
  • The Others have an "eye for an eye" system for killing one of their own
  • The kidnapped Tallies, including Cindy and the two kids, seem to be doing fine but they don't seem to know about Ana Lucia's fate.
  • The Others have a big boat.
  • Jack's tattoo translates to "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us."
  • Sawyer thinks he got a mercy lay from Kate.
  • Karl has never heard of The Brady Bunch
Questions:
  • Was Juliet really on trial or was this yet another test for Jack?
  • What does the "better life" Karl gives as the reason for kidnapping children entail?
  • With the exception of Claire, how come only the Tallies were kidnapped?
  • What does the branding on Juliet's back mean?
  • Why did Achera's brother and friends beat the snot out of Jack?
  • Do Cindy and the kidnapped tallies live on this smaller island or are they in Othersville on the big island?
  • Was Karl born on the island?
  • Do the producers cringe when they see ABC ads for Lost promising that THREE BIG SECRETS WILL EB REVEALED?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Simpsons Movie Trailer

Sunday, February 18, 2007

24 Season Six: 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM

Body Count: 7

If I wanted to see all this family drama, I would be watching General Hospital

Presidential Bunker:


DAMMMN, Lennox! You got knocked DA FUCK out!!!

So while Lennox has a change of heart (I guess it would be awkward to have a 10 minute meeting with someone then facilitate their murder) and gets a flashlight to the head for it, Baby Palmer inches closer and closer to his death. Where's Super Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce when you need him?

Fayed and The Nuclear Bomb:
Well, while Jack is all distracted by his personal problems, Fayed is driving around with three nukes and no one has the faintest clue where he is and no one seems to care. For a second, I was glad to see CTU can operate a mission without Jack but then Dmitri Gredenko (a.k.a Boris the Bullet Dodger from Snatch) got away so I guess it's always a bad move. Curtis is already missed.

CTU:
Chloe might want to give Milo a second movie date because it appears you chose wrong. Milo took a bullet for his country and Morris gargled some whiskey. Yawn, why is Morris getting so much camera time? I'm already bored.

Bauer Family Values:
Ok, Marilyn, make up your mind. Do you a) want to save your son Josh or b) sleep with Jack? Because you seem to be flip-flopping. Jack is on full tease mode. Slowly strapping on her bullet proof vest, telling her how to shoot, I guess in Jack's mind, that counts for foreplay. Anyway, after plotting to kill his son for the first quarter of the season, when he has him unarmed and on his knees, Papa Bauer pulls a Batman and disappears silently while Jack pours his heart out to Daddy. Anyway, this led to the moment we hope can redeem this season, the return of President Douchebag.

Bauer Moments To Remember:
  • Jack giving Marilyn the "Don't Lie To Me!!!" choke hold
  • Jack saying to his father, "I want you to know I never wanted you to feel like I had turned my back on you, that I had turned my back on the family" while he had his back turned to him

She's Bald Jerry

What do you mean bald?



What do you think I mean bald? Bald. Bald bald.

Remember when it used to be Britany Spears vs. Christina Aguilera?

Christina won.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

My New Tattoo

It's I Ching Hexagram 63 which translates to "With guidance comes control".



Of course, it comes from somewhere else. Somewhere a little more "geeky". Care to guess?

Sorry, Kristy and Erwin can't play.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Meet Harvey Dent



Eckhart joining 'Dark Knight' cast
By Borys Kit

Feb 16, 2007
Aaron Eckhart is in final negotiations to play Harvey Dent/Two Face in "The Dark Knight," Warner Bros. Pictures' sequel to "Batman Begins."

In Batman lore, Dent is the district attorney of Gotham City and an ally of Batman. After half his face is disfigured by acid, Dent becomes the insane crime boss known as Two Face. He chooses to do good or evil by flipping a coin. Tommy Lee Jones played the character in 1995's "Batman Forever."

"Knight" sees Christopher Nolan back in the director's chair with Christian Bale reprising his role as Bruce Wayne/Batman. Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman are also returning. Heath Ledger joined the cast last summer, signing up to play the sardonic and murderous villain the Joker.

The script was written by Nolan's brother, Jonathan, from a story by Christopher Nolan and David Goyer. Producing are Emma Thomas, Charles Roven and Christopher Nolan.

Eckhart is riding high these days thanks to his acclaimed performance in "Thank You for Smoking," which nabbed him Golden Globe and Spirit Award nominations. He next stars opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones in "No Reservations," the U.S. remake of the 2001 German feature "Mostly Martha." The film will be released by Warners in July. He is also starring in the "Untitled Alan Ball Project," Ball's directorial debut.

Eckhart is repped by CAA and Hirsch, Wallerstein, Hayum, Matlof & Fishman.

Find this article at:
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3i4fa3c1e4b8d5d3630e03029e51a47ac1

Full GRINDHOUSE trailer

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Lost Season Three: "Flashes Before Your Eyes"

Only fools are enslaved by time and space, indeed1

What I Liked:
  • "That Guy Sees The Future, Dude." As much as I loved our adventures on Alcatraz, I missed Hurley
  • That was the coolest flashback ever...if it was indeed a flashback at all. There were hints of Donnie Darko and The Wizard of Oz in his "flashback" and Final Destination on the island with Charlie
  • The song Charlie was singing in Desmond's past, Oasis' Wonderwall, particularly the part of the song he sang: "Because maybe, You're gonna be the one that saves me..." which makes sense now
  • That Charlie is the one destined to die. You have no idea how happy that makes me. he's become such a prick.
What I didn't like:
  • I forgot how much I disliked Charlie at this point.
What We Learned:
  • After he turned the key, Desmond appears to be sent back in the past as he's moving in with Penny with knowledge of the future.
  • Desmond David Hume - they sure love philosophers
  • He used to be a set designer for the Royal Shakespeare Company
  • He moved in with Penny and asked Papa Widmore for her hand in marriage and was rejected in the cruelest yet coolest way humanly possible2
  • Desmond met Charlie Hieronymus Pace outside Widmore Industries who was a street performer at the time.
  • After being told that he can't escape his future, Desmond broke up with Penny and then carried on with the events that led to him ending up at the island.
Questions:
  • Was that really a flashback?
  • The creepy jewelry store owner played by Fionnula Flanagan was the creepy old lady in The Others starring Nicole Kidman. Coincidence?
  • Who was that old woman? Was she real? Will we see her again?
  • Are the flashbacks we seeing actually flashbacks or is everyone experiencing the same phenomenon - as in, when we see the characters' flashbacks are they reliving that moment again - but only Desmond is conscious of it now?
  • By saving Charlie, what damage is Desmond doing to their reality?
  • Does Claire always go for a swim fully dressed?
1: Check this video out for an explanation
2: If I ever have a daughter and some substandard, by my opinion, askes me for her hand in marriage, I can only hope to remember that speech.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Singles Awareness Day

Go watch Fight Club tonight or something...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

24 Season Six: 1:00pm - 2:00pm / 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM

Body Count: 5 (not counting the people Jack led into a trap...again)

Papa Bauer's evil knows no bounds


Jack, I am your father.

Presidential Bunker:
It seems we can't have a Palmer presidency without either a) an assassination attempt or b) a coup. Fortunately for Baby Palmer, it appears he's getting a two-fer. Is it wrong that I kinda hope they succeed? Nothing against Baby Palmer but if I had to chose between Baby Palmer and Powers Boothe, well...HIS NAME IS POWERS BOOTHE, C'MON! I did enjoy Lennox's little "I quit" tantrum.

Fayed and The Nuclear Bomb:
Once again, 24 shows us that torture can work. Fayed apparently went to the same terrorist camp that Marwan from Season Five came from or maybe he read his book, "How To Escape Bauer", because that little tunnel was straight out of the Marwan playbook. Rita was an idiot if she thought they were going to hand her 7 million, then again so was McCarthy. Morris proves that when push comes to shove (more like when drill comes to shoulder), the British will not die for innocent Americans, they'll only "wish they were dead".

CTU:
We already covered Morris being a limey wimp. Chloe had the best line of the night: "I'm really glad Fayed didn't kill you this morning." I'm glad Buchanon was willing to adjust the report to Division. He's grown so much from his auspicious beginnings as the guy who was sleeping with Michelle while Tony was getting drunk watching soccer. And I really underestimated Milo. I thought he was a dead man but he was quite resourceful in the field. Still no mole but there's still time.

The Bauer Bunch:
With the exception of Josh, everyone seemed to take the fact that Graem was dead pretty well. Jack pretty much admitted he wanted him dead. Marilyn treated it as as afterthought and wasted no time shining those blue eyes at Jack. If everything goes according to his plan (which it won't), Papa Bauer will have:
  • Killed his two sons (but not before guilting one into believing he killed the other)
  • Killed the President of the United States (or at least his "company" will)
  • Kidnapped his grandson.
Also, if it wasn't clear enough, Josh has to be Jack's son. He has the Bauer hostage gene that is so dominant in Kim. Plus, he has a sense for being lied to. Too bad he doesn't have the Sutherland acting gene. Next week, Marilyn feels the five fingers of Jack around her throat. Good, because the last thing Jack needs is another woman who wants to talk about him about feelings in the midst of a crisis. Papa Bauer admitted too much on the phone with Marilyn. Now Jack will have all the information he needs to not need therapy after committing patricide.

Bauer Moments To Remember:
  • Two kills with the shotgun. Another first for Bauer. I feel like the writers went into a gun shop and said "What hasn't Jack killed someone with?"
  • Jack defuses a nuclear bomb and handles Chloe's general personality disorder without sweating (unlike Chloe who looked like she needed to change her shirt
  • The digust in his voice when he admonished Morris for building Fayed a functional device. Jack cannot comprehend human beings who would rather die than help terrorists. Morris is ruined for life. Poor Chloe. Tat man will never have an erection again without the help of Levitra.
  • The moment when Jack walks back into CTU and everyone stops like they just saw God. Like, "Oh my God, he's DOES exist!"

Monday, February 12, 2007

I Love This Commercial


Movies I'm Interested In Seeing: February & March

You know the deal by now...

FEBRUARY 23rd
The Number 23*
Reno 911!: Miami

MARCH 2nd
Zodiac
Black Snake Moan

MARCH 9th
300 **
The Ex
The Namesake

MARCH 16th
Sunshine

MARCH 23rd
Reign Over Me
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theatres

MARCH 30th
Blades of Glory

*: Despite the fact that Joel Schumacher is directing
**: I will only see this at the IMAX theater

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sunshine Trailer

Friday, February 09, 2007

24: Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Lost Season Three: "Not In Portland"

"TGI Wednesday, am I right? Gonna go home, get my beer on, get my Lost on."
- Andy from The Office
What I Liked:
  • Elizabeth Mitchell is officially the best actress on the show right now.
  • The casting: Calamity Jane from Deadwood! Mac from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia! The creepy short guy in everything who you never feel any sympathy for (OZ, 24, Homicide, etc.)
  • The look on Jack's face when he found out there were TWO islands
  • New characters means new nicknames for Sawyer
  • "I can't believe you fell for the old Wookie prisoner gag." There better be a Lost flashback with Sawyer as a teenaged Star Wars geek.
  • How creepy was Ben waking up?
  • Bye Danny.
What I didn't like:
  • I think this should have been the last episode before the break. Even though episode six had more of a dramatic ending, this one would have quieted some of the clamoring with Sawyer and Kate heading back to the island
  • Juliet's hair. I think the only good thing about her being stuck on that island is she's been kept away from whatever hair products she was using.
  • Jack finally asked a smart question - why didn't they take Ben to a surgeon off the island - and right before Tom's about to answer, of course, the surgery goes awry.
What We Learned:
  • Unlike Ben, Juliet was not born on the island. She's from Miami.
  • Juliet Burke - medical researcher who impregnated her sister with experimental drugs.
  • Juliet was married to her boss who has a penchant for sleeping with medical researchers
  • The Others and Sawyer shoot like Stormtroopers.
  • Juliet used to be meek.
  • Mittelos Bioscience recruited her. One of her recruiters was the guy with the awful accent on Suddenly Susan. The other was Ethan Rom!
  • Alex is considered Ben's daughter.
  • The Others have a programming room a la Clockwork Orange. (Some of the messages were "Plant a good seed and you will joyfully gather fruit," "Everything changes," "We are the causes of our own suffering," "God loves you as he loved Jacob," and "Think about your life."
  • Juliet's ex-husband was hit by a bus right in front of her a la Final Destination.
  • Juliet has been on the island 3 years, 2 months and 28 days.
  • Kate is more of a badass than Sawyer
Questions:
  • Does Alex know about Danielle or has she always believed that Ben was her father?
  • Who else is locked up in that programming facility that they rescued Karl from?
  • What about the island is making everyone infertile if that is indeed the reason they brought Juliet to the island?
  • What was Ethan doing outside of Juliet's sister's apartment at the beginning of the episode?
  • Who is privately funding Mittelos Bioscience (which is an anagram for "Lost Time")?
  • Who the hell is Jacob?
  • Why did they want Kate and Sawyer?
  • To re-ask Jack's question, if they can get on and off the island, why didn't they bring to a surgeon off the island?
  • Was it just a coincidence that Juliet's husband was hit by a bus? (Ok, that one is pretty clear)
  • What was Juliet's plan if Jack had gone along with her plan and killed Ben?
  • What is Ben's issue with Karl, Alex's boyfriend?
  • Is Tom gay?
  • Was Juliet's sister the woman Jack's father killed on the operating table when he was drunk? (Personal theory of mine)
  • Does ABC really need another Dr. Burke and Dr. Shepard?

Monday, February 05, 2007

24 Season Six: 12:00pm - 1:00pm

Body Count: 3

Advantage Bauer

Papa Bauer, that is.


That'll do, Graem. That'll do.

I knew something was fishy when he shot that guy unarmed so Jack couldn't ask him any questions.

Oh, Graem, we hardly knew you.

But you shouldn't have been so afriad to die. Confessing to Jack that you were behind the deaths of Palmer, Tony and Michelle was as much of a suicide attempt as slitting your wrists.

I was about to say 24 jumped the shark when it appeared Morris' brother was a victim of the nuclear fallout which would have made him the third CTU techie to have a family member killed by terrorist act (Adam, who went on to play Sylar in Season Three lost his sister to the virus and Edgar in Season Four lost his mother to the fallout from the nuclear plant meltdown). Luckily for me, that was not the case. Unfortunately for Morris, he's about to experience some torture.

Appears that the President has gotten his balls back but it also appears we have yet another duplicitous Vice President.

Also, the return of Agent Burke and the interrogation case!!!

On to the Bauer moments:
  • Good to see some Father & Son killing. For them, it's like going fishing.
  • Apparently, Jack's ability to protect people is well known in his family circle
  • Jack to Graem: "I'm going to kill you my way! 8 CCs!!!"
  • Papa Bauer pretty much put Jack on timeout with that look when he was about to kill Graem.

Greatest Halftime Show Ever



How do they think they are going to top that next year? U2 already performed.

The Real Super Bowl MVP For The Colts

Sunday, February 04, 2007

New Shrek The Third Trailer

Friday, February 02, 2007

Confessions, Part III



So did I ever you about the time I was paid to dress up as Blade?

I posted some of these pictures on my MySpace page promising never to tell this tale. But I'm bored and have nothing else to talk about.

The Roommate used to work at Spike TV and, as you may or may not remember, they had a TV version of Blade starring Kirk "Sticky Fingerz" Jones.



Yeah, it didn't last long.

Anyway, so last May, The Roommate sends me an instant message
[16:07] The Roommate: do you want to make $600 dollars for a weekend at Wizard World in Philly?
[16:07] The Roommate: you just have to have a place to stay and get yourself down there
[16:08] Melanism: I'm intrigued
[16:08] Melanism: do tell
[16:09] The Roommate: J--n just called me...they want someone to dress up like Blade...they ahve the sword, they have the glasses, they have the backpack
[16:09] The Roommate: they just want someone to act like their a comic book fan
[16:10] The Roommate: and dress up like Blade
[16:10] Melanism: HAHAHAHAHA
[16:10] The Roommate: $600
[16:10] The Roommate: you have to just be the part
[16:10] The Roommate: $600
[16:10] The Roommate: haha
[16:10] The Roommate: i was like "sean!?"
[16:10] Melanism: I'm a little short to be Blade, don't ya think
[16:10] The Roommate: nope
[16:11] The Roommate: sticky is short too
[16:11] Melanism: lol
[16:11] Melanism: which weekend
[16:11] The Roommate: you just have to walk around the convention
[16:11] The Roommate: June 2-3
Long story short, I said yes. I wore this big heavy pleather coat with a replica of Blade's sword in the back (which kept stabbing me). I also had three metal spikes that strapped on to my leg (and kept falling out and stabbing my foot) and this other blade that I kept in my pocket (and guess what it stabbed in there?)

Anyway, it was a lot of fun. I was drained by the end of the second day because I was walking around will all that heavy shit on from 10 AM to 4 PM. Plus, I spent a lot of the money I made on comic books, transportation and Philly cheese steaks.

Anyway, here are all the pictures:








That's Geoff Johns, comic book writer and executive producer of the show. I was told to ask enthusiastic questions that a comic book geek and a Blade fan would ask. That was easy enough. I was told later he didn't know that they sent me and he was impressed.



Sadly enough, a lot of people thought I was the real thing.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Knocked Up trailer