Movie of the Week: Lars & The Real Girl

Great, great movie that completely falls apart with Ryan Gosling doesn't play Lars perfectly.

Gosling played Lars with the perfect amount of humor, sadness and creepiness. As hard as was to swallow an entire town rallying around a delusion (more likely a psychotic break), everyone played it straight.

It's a shame that Ryan Gosling won't get the attention come Oscar time but he really should because can only think of a handful of performance this year on par.

I Fought The Future And Won

Beginning in May, I began a Netflix project. Being an avid Lost disciple, I wanted to watch one of its forefathers, The X-Files. Despite seeing the movie in the theaters, I had only watched a handful of episodes over the course of its nine seasons. I hate jumping on a show like this from the middle.

I burned through the first three seasons pretty quickly but when summer movie season and then the new fall television rolled around, I found it harder & harder to find time to watch episodes especially when the quality started to lessen.

Luckily, the TV strike came around and I found tons of free time to watch the occasional episode.

Last week, I finally finished the entire thing.

Here are a couple of stray thoughts:

• The first six seasons were great. Period. But after that it got bad pretty quickly. Once they added Reyes and put the whole search for Mulder thing behind them, the show got okay again until the end.
• It was funny watching the evolution of Gillian Anderson. She was very "plane jane" for the first few season and then all of the sudden, she got a haircut, started wearing nice suits and she became hot. I'm in love with her now.
• The biggest problem with the post-Mulder seasons were the attempts to make Doggett the new Scully and have Scully be the old Mulder. They rectified this with Agent Reyes but then they made another mistake by making Reyes and Doggett the new "Will they/Won't they" agents.
  
• They mythology never made sense.
  

Next up, Twin Peaks (once season one becomes available on Netflix)

Movie of the Week: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Tim and Johnny, all is forgiven for Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.

This is the Tim Burton I race to the movies to see. I've never seen Sweeney Todd on Broadway so I have nothing to compare it to (and maybe that's for the best).

It's takes about half a song to get used to Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter singing but they both did great jobs.

I think I could watch Alan Rickman read the phone book and I'd be interested. I don't there has ever been an Alan Rickman performance I haven't enjoyed.

Warning: it's very bloody, comically so. Think Kill Bill - The Bride vs. The Crazy 88's

Dewey Cox & The Hard Walkers at The Knitting Factory

After the screening, we were bused over to the Knitting Factory to see the final performance of Dewey Cox & The Hard Walkers (until the Oscars with the strike doesn't destroy it).



The show was hilarious. The best parts were his covers of Rehab (Amy Winehouse),Cocaine (Eric Clapton) and Sabotage (Beastie Boys).

The world needs more Cox.

Movie of the Week: Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

(I know...another 3 stars)

This movie was stupid and full of dick jokes (and actually some dicks) but you know what, it was fucking hilarious.

It helped that John C. Reilly can sing his ass off and that there were more cameos than a Robert Altman film.

The jokes were coming so fast that I'm going to need to see it again.

My favorite parts were Tim Meadows' anti-drug warnings to Dewey throughout the movie. "No Dewey, you don't want no part of this shit!)

There was a lot of stuff in the commercials and trailers that didn't makethe finalcut so expect a loaded DVD.

(Some Of) My Favorite Albums From 2007

While I'm sure better music came out this year and I haven't had a chance to really listen to a couple of albums I just downloaded acquired (Lupe Fiasco, LCD Soundsystem, Ghostface, Wu-Tang Clan) but here are my some* of favorite albums of 2007 (in no particular order) with my favorite song from each.

"No Cars Go" by Arcade Fire from Neon Bible



"Breakin' Up" by Rilo Kiley from Under The Blacklight



"Back To Black" by Amy Winehouse from Back to Black
(Yes, I know it really came out in 2006)



"I Feel It All" by Feist from The Reminder



"All I Need" by Radiohead from In Rainbows



"Say Hello" by Jay-Z from American Gangster



"When Your Mind's Made Up" by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová from Music From The Motion Picture Once



"The Heinrich Maneuver" by Interpol from Our Love To Admire



"Flashing Lights" by Kanye West (featuring Dwele) from Graduation



"Lucky Ones" by Kevin Drew from Spirit If...



"When Everything Is New" by Little Brother from GetBack



"Burn Your Life Down" by Tegan & Sara from The Con

* I say "some" because these albums are just the ones I thought of when I decided to make this post and not some well thought out list like I was working for Rolling Stone or Pitchfork Media.

New Lost Season Four Trailer

Click picture for all types of awesomeness

The Dark Knight International Posters & Trailer

Click either poster for the trailer

Movie of the Week: I Am Legend

This was probably my favorite Will Smith performance ever.

It's hard to carry a majority of a movie when you are the only person acting. A perfect example of the right way to do this is Tom Hanks in Castaway. I was a little worried for Mr. Smith who has only tried to flat out act a handful of time (Six Degrees of Separation, Where The Day Takes You, Ali).

Well, he did quite well. He didn't try to force the humor too much (an issue for him). He was the appropriate amount of stoicism, desperation and insanity. There's one scene during a "conversation" he has in a video store that shows you how much Will has stepped his game up.

The movie was a lot more suspenseful than I expected (one of my female companions who I went with spent various moments in the fetal position). There were a lot of elements that reminded me of 28 Days Later. Also, the creatures sort of moved like the robots in I,Robot when they were vaulting on top of poles and walls.

My problems with the movie: There is an evolution of the vampire-like creatures that goes acknowledged by Robert Neville (Smith) which bugged me. It went more in line with what happened in the book. Also, they completely changed the book. I didn't read the book but I looked it up after the movie and it was much cooler than what happened in the movie.

I saw this in IMAX, mainly for The Dark Knight prologue which was awesome. I'm a strong believer in seeing any movie shown in IMAX but that was an added incentive.

Movie of the Week: Enchanted

Ok, I'll admit it. It was really cute.

Amy Adams was amazing (as expected). I hope this leads to bigger and better things for her.

This was a great parody of old Disney flicks. There were a couple of surprisingly disgusting moments involving vermin which is why there will never be a Disney romance cartoon set in New York City. No one finds singing roaches cute.

One thing did kind of bother me. Given that this was a Disney film, the animated portion of the movie wasn't very good. I know it wasn't a large part of the movie but they really slacked here.

Lost Season Four Trailer

Too bad there are only eight episodes...

100 Things That Make Me Happy (If Only For a Second)

Another project from Sheila:

1. Will Ferrell's scenes in whatever movie he is in
   
2. New comics on Wednesday
3. Snickers bars
4. New episodes of my favorite shows
5. Hearing a song that is line with what I'm feeling at the moment (if that moment is a good moment, of course)
6. Receiving cards in the mail (not e-cards, USPS style)
7. Receiving hugs in proportion to the hugs I'm giving
8. Trying to have a intelligent conversation with someone under the age of 9
9. This song
10. First kisses
11. Inside jokes
12. False glimmers of hope from crushes
13. Receiving a complement about something I don't necessarily believe about myself
14. The ten seconds between just finishing cleaning your room and starting the process of messing it up again
15. Seeing something I want on sale
16. The moment you realize a movie is going to be one of your favorites
17. Learning something new about someone I care about
18. Not having to get out of bed when other people are at work
19. Sugar
20. Beating the hard part of a video game
21. Winning
22. Being right
23. Having a conversation with a friend who is just as drunk as you are about how drunk you both aren't
24. Holding hands when its cold (locking fingers, not grasping hands)
25. Noticing something cute about someone they may not notice about themselves
26. When one of your favorite movies are on cable and you turn to it and it's at your favorite part
27. When I realize the person I saw a movie with loved it just as much as I did and instead of defending it, we can exchange praise, favorite parts and quotes all the way home.
28. Being finished with a project
29. When an album I've been dying to hear leaks on the internet
30. Soft vanilla ice cream in a cone with rainbow sprinkles
31. Getting comments on my blog especially from friends I didn't know read it
32. Watching recaps of the Yankees or Giants winning on SportsCenter
33. Getting a phone call right after a new episode of 24 or Lost concludes
34. When someone loves a movie I recommended
35. Finding a present that is perfect for someone
36. The first sip of the first beer after a long shitty day
37. When a book turns into something you have to finish, instead of something you are just reading
38. Rilo Kiley songs
39. Telling people who make at least $20,000 more than me what to do
40. Giving somebody something they wanted, especially if they didn't ask for it
41. A good chicken cheesesteak
42. Someone liking something I wrote
43. Not having to do anything
44. Genuine surprises
45. Seeing someone smile at me
46. Being complimented on what I'm wearing
47. Receiving voicemails & text messages from drunk friends
48. Being missed
49. Reading my friends' blogs
50. Having a good week in fantasy football
51. Game winning home runs by the Yankees
52. White Chocolate Mocha Latte from Starbucks
53. Black noodles with chicken from Spice
54. Reading Ask Ausiello on Wednesday morning and talking my friends about it
    
55. Looking at my checking account online and realizing I'm not going to be broke before my next paycheck arrives
56. Kristin Chenowith on Pushing Daisies
57. When the Yankees beat the Mets or the Red Sox
58. When the Mets and the Red Sox lose
59. Seeing pictures of myself that I actually like
60. Getting a back massage of equal or better quality than one I would give myself
61. Finding money in a pair of jeans
62. Finishing all the shows stored on my DVR
63. Shelia's morning instant messenger hugs
64. Tara's "eeeee" when something is hilarious
65. Nikki's 3D dance
66. Andrea's "I wanna see that!" face after a good movie trailer
67. Getting sincerely thanked
68. Seeing my friends who are pregnant
69. Open bars
70. Spring
71. Waking up at my stop on the subway (on the first try)
72. Having a really good idea
73. Welch's grape soda
74. When there are Twizzlers in the vending machine at work
75. When Jack Bauer shoots someone
76. Being done with work for the day or the week
    
77. When a movie I've been dying to see again finally comes out on DVD
78. Getting answers on Lost
79. Tropicana Orange Juice (No pulp)
80. Egg and bacon on a roll in the morning
81. H&H plain bagel, lightly toasted, one butter
82. New Perry Bible Fellowship comic strips
83. Being needed but not manipulated or abused
84. Juvenile humor
85. Getting a new tattoo
86. Being comfortable with someone or something
87. Having all my shirts ironed and put away
88. Meeting someone new who loves things that I love
89. Finishing my bag of comics for the week
90. Seeing someone I miss
91. Soft white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies
92. New t-shirts on Threadless (even if I'm not allowing myself to buy anymore)
93. Getting White Castle after 2 AM after a night of drinking and hanging out
94. Laughing hysterically with friends
95. Epiphanies
96. Seeing someone on the street I don't feel like talking to first so I can avoid them
97. Making someone feel better
98. Getting a blog post out of my system
99. Hearing an amazing album for the first time.
    
100. Making someone else smile...if only for a second
     

Movie of the Week: I'm Not There

Well, that was weird.

I don't know how much I liked it. For the first 90 minutes or so, I was in love with it. Everyone playing different incarnations of Bob Dylan was great but none better than Cate Blanchett. I've made my feelings known for Ms. Blanchett but as Jude Quinn, she was amazing. She had Dylan's mannerisms and tics in the 60's down pat. Christian Bale was also great as the reclusive folk-hero Jack Rollins.

But when the Billy the Kid (Richard Gere) portion of the movie started up, I got lost. Maybe if I was more familiar with the history and iconography of Bob Dylan, I would have appreciated it more but I'm not so I didn't. Every time those scenes came up, I got pulled out of just enjoying the picture and trying to figure out what all this means.

Still, it was really beautifully shot and directed. I was just lost for thirty minutes.

Movie of the Week: Juno

This year's Little Miss Sunshine.

The movies started slow and sometimes the script tried to hard to be witty but it was still one of the better comedies of the year.

Ellen Page (Juno) was great (I've loved since Hard Candy) and will probably be nominated for an Oscar (or at least a Golden Globe). Actually everyone was really good - Michael Cera, J.K. Simmons (good to see him playing a nice guy), Alison Janney, Olivia Thirlby. I especially liked Jennifer Garner. Who knew she could pull off such a sad, controlled performance?

The soundtrack was also great.


The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You

Sex and the City trailer

The apocalypse is nigh...

The Dark Knight poster

Movie of the Week: The Golden Compass

It had some good moments and Dakota Blue Richards was really good but for the most part, I hated it.

Music Video Of The Year

Snoop Dogg - Sexual Seduction

Snoop Dogg - Sensual Seduction Closed Captioned
Uploaded by Elodie-74

When PSA's go too far...

My Mail-Order Bride Arrived!

We're gonna be so happy together. Please respect our privacy during the honeymoon.

100 Opinions I Hold That Are Open To Discussion

Feel free to disagree with me but I think...

1. ...MTV with their reality based programming is destroying the brains of young white girls everywhere.
   
2. ...BET is matching them step for step on destroying the brain of young African-Americans.
3. ...The only positive thing about the current state of hip-hop is that any kid now thinks he can be a rapper because bar has been lowered so low for what constitutes a "good song." It's nice to have dreams.
4. ...Lost is better than Heroes and it's damn near insulting to compare the two.
5. ...It's nice to support your team and all but until the Mets win at least two more World Series, Mets fans really shouldn't say shit about the Yankees.
6. ...The reason Batman resonates with fans more than Spider-Man and Superman is because he has no powers therefore creating the belief that, however unrealistic, with an unlimited bank account and near psychotic levels of training and dedication, you too can be Batman.
7. ...Women are generally smarter than men when it comes to matters of the heart. So much smarter that they end up out thinking themselves underestimating how dumb a guy can be.
8. ...You can track the decline of society by watching every season of MTV's The Real World in chronological order.
9. ...YouTube and WikiPedia are the two greatest things to happen to cubicle drones.
10. ...Tabloids are destroying what little intelligence the Western World has.
11. ...Men and women both get complacent in long-term relationships and stop doing the cute things that they did in the beginning of the relationships. Women just say something about it.
12. ...Guys love "bitches" almost as much as girls love "bad boys".
13. ...People don't change. They just learn to accept things.
14. ...The reason some guys can't commit a relationship is they are always thinking about what else they can be doing. It's like being a quarterback. One receiver is WIDE OPEN but you still check your other receivers to see if you can slip a pass in there.
15. ...When you are in the early stages of a relationship, it makes you blind to certain things. Most notably, how ridiculously you are acting in public.
16. ...No one can remember when they stopped making out with their significant other.
    
17. ...If Joey ended up with anyone, she should have ended up with Dawson, not Pacey. It was DAWSON'S CREEK not Pacey's Pond.
18. ...The Matrix was not intended to be a trilogy. The Wachowski Brothers lied to get more money.
19. ...The only friends worth keeping are the ones you can not talk to for long periods of time and nothing changes.
20. ...Going out to clubs is overrated.
21. ...Before you buy your favorite sports player's jersey, check out the terms of his contract with his team. Even then, it's still a short term investment.
22. ...Facebook is better than MySpace because the design is the same for every page. MySpace was ruined when they let members add songs and change the design.
23. ..."The Takeover" was better than "Ether" because Jay-Z dissed Nas from the perspective of a fan while Nas, while making a few valid digs, resorted to calling him "ugly" and "gay."
24. ...Denzel Washington shouldn't have won an Oscar for Training Day. He should have won it for Malcolm X.
25. ...It's a travesty that America doesn't have universal health care.
26. ...Carrie ending up with Big after everything he did to her over the course of the series gave all men hope that as long as she loves you, you still have a chance.
27. ...Women's shoes are designed to be comfortable to walk in for 10 minutes tops. That's how long it will take for them to decide to buy the shoe. Then they're proper fucked.
28. ...Guys don't ask other guys for advice on their relationships.
    
29. ...Paris Hilton is the most influential person in the last five years. She redefined (read: lowered the standard) for "celebrity" and was the harbinger of doom for the media.
30. ...Protests and petitions don't change anything.
31. ...The biggest mistake Marvel Comics made was bringing Jean Grey back from the dead.
32. ...The top three Not Ready For Prime Time Players were Bill Murray, Phil Hartman & Gilda Radner.
33. ...Spike Lee uses the movies to see the breast of actresses he finds attractive.
34. ...Female bartending is the most sexually discriminating job next to stripper. But at least there are fat, ugly strippers. If there's a fat,ugly bartender, she's is the owner or having sex with him.
    
35. ...George Lucas was lying when he said he intended Star Wars to have nine parts. He made it up as he went along.
36. ...You shouldn't be watching MTV programming if you are over the age of 30.
37. ..."Cancer" should never be used as a metaphor.
38. ...Women should spend more money on their significant others and not just for gift-giving holidays and birthdays. It's only fair.
39. ...Road House is the greatest B-movie ever made.
40. ...Every third movie of a Marvel film franchise has sucked.
41. ...Batman The Animated Series was the best cartoon based on a comic book character.
42. ...R&B songs are boring when you aren't in a relationship or reminiscing on one.
43. ...Brad Pitt's best role was 12 Monkeys.
44. ...Movies are too long these days.
45. ...Arrested Development (the TV show, not the hip-hop group) was ahead of its time.
46. ...24 is right wing propaganda.
47. ...Love Actually is the best romantic comedy of the last five years.
48. ...The New York Giants will never win a Super Bowl with Eli Manning at quarterback.
49. ...Technology is getting everyone to the point of never having to leave your house. The last step will be a video cell phone (meaning you can see the person you are talking to).
50. ..."Douche" as an insult is in the midst of a renaissance.
51. ...People who think they are special because they don't want an iPod are douches.
    
52. ...Duke should have died in G.I. Joe The Movie.
53. ...People who talk during movies should be sterilized.
54. ...Parenting classes should be given alongside Lamaze classes.
    
55. ...They shouldn't have made a trilogy out of Pirates of the Carribean.
56. ...Die Hard is the greatest action movie ever.
57. ...Tony Soprano was killed.
58. ...The Rock was the best wrestler in the last 20 years.
59. ...Val Klimer was a pretty good Batman but he sucked as Bruce Wayne because he spoke in the same tone.
60. ...Dream On was a more realistic depiction of dating in New York City than Sex & The City.
61. ...Carrie was given a second chance with Aidan so he could be somewhat vilified and Carrie can recover some of the likability she lost when she cheated on him.
62. ...Will Ferrell, while appearing in a number of really bad movies, is incapable of not being funny.
63. ...Adam Sandler has only tried to act in four movies - The Wedding Singer, Punch Drunk Love, Spanglish & Reign Over Me.
    
64. ...Sega Genesis was a better machine that the Nintendo 64 but Nintendo had the 3rd party support.
65. ...Mary J. Blige has one dance step. She should really try to stand still when she sings.
66. ...High Fidelity is the closest we've come to "Bro Flick" (as opposed to a "Chick Flick")
67. ...Living a long boring life is the worst way to die, followed closely by drowning and suffocating.
68. ...If your ass crack shows when you bend over, your jeans do not fit. Take them off and change into something more appropriate.
69. ...It is impossible for a guy not to stare at cleavage at least once. If you don't notice, it means he got his fill while you weren't paying attention.
70. ...Chappelle's Show was funnier than The Chris Rock Show but Chris Rock is a better stand-up comedian.
71. ...Racism will never end.
72. ...Three greatest comic strips of all-time: The Peanuts, The Far Side and Calvin & Hobbes.
73. ...Whole Foods is one of the best places to meet attractive singles in New York City. Better than a bar.
74. ...Fall is the best season because you actually can dress for it and it doesn't rain as much as it does in Spring.
    
75. ...If you are constantly talking to your friends and family about your relationship problems but not to your significant other about your relationship problems, break up.
76. ...Despite the advancements in birth control, you probably shouldn't sleep with someone you couldn't stand to be a part of your life forever. You never know.
77. ...You shouldn't even think about getting married to someone if you can't sit in a room with them and not say anything to one another and not be bothered by that fact.
78. ...You should be allowed to slap guys who have their polo collars popped.
79. ...Monica should not have been able to afford that apartment on Friends. I don't care if it was rent stabilized. Rachel and her weren't consistently employed for the first six seasons.
80. ...It's a cliche to say but Aquaman really was the lamest Justice Leaguer.
81. ..."Bennifer" ruined Ben Affleck's career but Jennifer Lopez seemed to escape with only a few scratches.
82. ...Kevin Smith peaked too soon with Chasing Amy.
83. ...Futurama should have been saved instead of Family Guy.
84. ...You shouldn't date your friends unless the basis of your friendship was mutual attraction therefore making your friendship a trial run at dating.
85. ...DuckTales was the best Disney after school cartoon.
86. ...Relationships with coworkers always end poorly.
87. ...The A Nightmare On Elm Street franchise was ruined when they decided that Freddy Kreuger should be funny.
88. ...The biggest problem with US sitcoms is that they never know when to end. If every show had a five season plan that they stuck to, even if it was a high rated show, the quality of television would improve.
89. ...Kids shouldn't be allowed to read Cosmopolitan and Maxim and magazines like that until they are 18.
90. ...If you could get quality vegetarian dishes at McDonald's prices, there would be more vegetarians.
91. ...Crash (over Brokeback Mountain) was the most ridiculous Academy Award winner for Best Picture in the last 10 years followed by Shakespeare In Love (over Saving Private Ryan).
92. ...Quentin Tarantino abuses the N word in his movies but he's not as bad as Martin Scorsese who has an affinity for racist characters.
93. ...All of Wes Anderson's movies feel like they are taking place at the same time, in the same world, just in different parts of town.
94. ...Lebron James is the future of the NBA but he won't win a title with the Cleveland Cavaliers before his contract is up.
95. ...The future presented in Mike Judge's Idiocracy doesn't seem that improbable.
96. ...Paparazzi are the scum of the Earth.
97. ...Superman flying around the world to save Lois Lane was the worst deus ex machina ever filmed.
98. ...If your name ends in "-quita," your parents have cursed you with a social disadvantage.
99. ...It's harder to find someone you actually want to hold hands with than it is someone to sleep with.
100. ...There has been a song written for every matter of the heart.

Movie of the Week: No Country For Old Men

I officially forgive the Coen Brothers for Ladykillers.

Let's see...this movie will be nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Actor/Supporting Actor for Javier Bardem, Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin (who's having an amazing year).

So why didn't I have it a full four stars? Because the ending is very anticlimactic. I understand why it ended that way but still, I was let down.

Without spoiling it, it's like knowing three trains are on a collision course to destruction. Then all of the sudden, one train crashes out of nowhere but you don't see it, only see the aftermath. One train keeps going while the other just stops and decides it isn't worth chugging along anymore.

Confusing? See the movie.

Do You Need Losticil?

MeLOVEism, Part IV

The saga continues courtesy of Tasha:

Does intense passionate love truly last in long term relationships (long term being more than 10 years)?
No it doesn't. Imagine how creepy that would be. Two people constantly thinking about one another, fucking like rabbits when they got home from work, being all schmoopie with each other for 10 years. How would they accomplish anything in life? Who would take care of the children? Who would want to be around that kind of couple? Just thinking about it makes me nauseous. You can have intense passionate moments which are better because they stand out in the monotony of a long-term relationships.


Do men and women truly love differently? And does one gender love 'harder' than the other?
Men and women do love differently but I wouldn't say one loves "harder" than the other. It really varies from person to person. People have a tendency to think that the way they love is the way everyone should love. So when their partner doesn't love them in their way, they take it as not being loved as much as they love their partner. I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone not named Sean.

Is the concept of romantic love as we know it
a. a concept manufactured by advertisers and writers?
b. a purely chemical reaction?
Love is a chemical, emotional and psychological reaction that would happen to a person who lived under a rock for their entire life, never having seen a movie, read a book or heard a trite ballad. However, how one is expected to act in a relationship tends to be "manufactured by advertisers and writers." They sold us on flowers and diamonds and cards and mixtapes as expression of love. I would love to live in a world where two people loving each other and spending time together is all that mattered in a relationship but alas, too many women have seen Pretty Woman. Personally, whoever does ads for Kay Jewelers should be hung from their ankles and have frustrated husbands throw rocks at them.


Do you think a man's current proclivity for distancing sex from emotion and woman's tendency to attach of emotion with sex nature or nuture?
It's too prevalent in my gender to not consider it nature but their is a nuture element. How old are boys before they first hear about love and relationships? When they pull all the girls out of 4th grade to talk about their periods, the boys should be made to watch High Fidelity.

Thanks, Tasha.

MeLOVEism, Part III

Round Three courtesy of Sheila

Can you ever say "I love you" too much?
It depends why and how you say it. If you say to the point that it's commonplace (like the end of a phone conversation) than it's never too much. But some people say it with a certain level of fear like every time they say it is supposed to be a reminder. "Remember when you go out into a space that I'm not with you that I love you and you are supposed to love me so don't do anything that compromises that. Don't leave me!" You can tell when there's a hint of desperation in an "I love you" and it's really fucking creepy.


Can a couple ever have a successful relationship following a "break" (a la Friends)?
It depends why the couple broke up. If they broke up over a fight that wasn't an underlying issue throughout the relationship, just anger, then yes. But if the couple broke up over an issue in the relationship that wasn't resolved, something like key beliefs on marriage and children, then they probably shouldn't get back together unless one person truly has a change of heart. How often does that happen (without therapy)? If you decided a long time ago you don't want kids, what would it take for you to want kids? When people who break up over big issues get back together, they go under the same haze people just start dating are under that everything is fine but eventually the issue creeps back up. Hopefully, you're not already married when it does.


Do soulmates exist?
Yes, they exist. Doesn't mean you're supposed to date them. Whoever you consider your best friend - regardless of gender - is one of many soulmates in your life.


Can "Momma's boys" ever love their significant other more than their mothers?
It depends what kind of momma's boy they are. If they are the kind that loves their mother because she's their best friend and they talk about everything, probably not but that's okay. The love he has for you and her aren't in conflict. If they are the kind of momma's boy who's mother did everything for them and babied them throughout their life, you DON'T want them to love you more than their mother because that means he thinks you have taken over the babying part. Plus, the mothers of those types of guys are particularly horrible to deal with.


Are bars actually conducive to meeting "relationship material" people?
Only if you list under your interests "dressing up to get drunk." Seriously though, you can meet "relationship material" people anywhere. It's just a matter of sifting through all the "one night stand" material people and the "I'm subconsciously looking for a rebound" people and the "I'm here every night" people and the "I seem like relationship material but I'm really batshit crazy KOO KOO KACHOOO" people. It's not necessarily a needle in a haystack but it definitely feels that way.


Will Britney Spears ever find true love?
Who's to say she hasn't? Hasn't her behavior over the last year proven that Kevin Federline was truly a soulmate?

Thanks Sheila!

MeLOVEism, Part II

Well, I didn't expect to already get some questions to answer.

This session is courtesy of Cindy.

How do you recapture the initial spark and "swoony" feelings? If it feels gone, is it just gone?
I personally think when it's gone, it's gone. That's why it's a spark and not an all-encompassing fire. You can recapture it in small moments by doing or receiving something totally unexpected for/from your love but something that only they'd/you'd appreciate and if they/you explained it to someone else, they might not understand the meaning.


Can you be friends with your ex? If so, what's the incubation period?
You can be friends with your ex but, like planting crops, it has to be under optimal conditions:

1. If possible, you probably shouldn't speak or associate with one another for a year minimum. Two years is optimal. Therefore when you do speak to each other, enough will have gone on in your life that the only thing you can think to talk about is when you were together.
2. Hopefully, you've both had relationships (or at least "relations") prior to being friends. It's easier when they aren't last person you did anything with.
   
3. You have to pretend like you never dated. I can't stress this one enough. When you speak, you never speak of things you did together. You never "Remember when..." about anything you guys did as a couple. If a story calls for you to recall this period in time, you treat as something you guys did as friends, not as a couple. The fact is no matter how much time has passed between you, the end of a relationship bothered one party more than the other.

How long should you be dating someone before you try to give it a label? Put in a another way, how long do you have to wait to have the status of the relationship conversation?
When you achieve "Last Call" status with one another. "Last Call" status means that if you are both at home at a reasonable hour, you are each the last person the other talks to before they go to bed. If one of you is out late, you send a "good night" text. You smile as you send it. They smile when they receive it (even if they were already asleep and kinda pissed the phone woke them up until they see it's you). When you are doing that for more than 2-3 weeks, it's time to have the talk.


How does sex change a relationship and "make things different"? Are there variations by gender?
Seeing anyone naked changes your relationship. Sex or no sex, once you see someone naked, you can never take it back (unless you gain or lose a whole lot of weight). I think women take sex in the relationship more seriously than men. Like it's the natural progression of a the relationship while men have more of a tendency to be like "Well, it's about time."


How do you get him to do the nice things he did when you first started seeing each other?
Do the nice things you did when you first started seeing each other. Hopefully, he'll reciprocate. If that doesn't work, randomly mention things he used to do like, "Remember when you..." And if that doesn't work, either you'll have to get it into his head that you're not a SURE thing (which is why he did those nice things in the first place) or you'll just have to live with the things he does everyday. It's good practice for marriage.

Thanks Cindy!

MeLOVEism, Part I

So I was reading some of my OLD posts and realized I don't theorize about love and relationships anymore. My favorite thing about this blog was to write thoughts and theories about love and relationships. What you think before you are in a relationship and what you think during a relationship are two TOTALLY different things. I just wanted proof that I didn't think love and relationships were all fun and games.

Anyway, I want to tap that part of my brain again but I'm lacking in inspiration. So I'm reaching out to you,my 5-7 semi-occasional readers, for questions for me to answer.

So leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail.

For starters, the lovely Navani has agreed to ask me some questions for me to answers:

Do you think the idea of a rebound is universal for both women and men?
I think the idea of a rebound is universal for men and women but I think they approach it differently. I think guys have more of a tendency to hook up with someone to try to get the ex "out of their system." They actively seek out the rebound. Women actually date and have relationships with guys before they even realize that he's the rebound guy.


Who should initiate communication between a man and a woman? Does it matter? Are there still rules regarding this?
I don't think it SHOULD matter but it does. In a perfect world, people would approach the people they are interested it - years of social programming be damned. But some guys are scared by the kind of girls who would approach them and some girls will NEVER approach a guy and why should they?


Can booty calls ever really turn into real relationships?
My initial reaction was "No. Never. Never Ever." But you know what? You never know. Eventually, the booty caller and the booty have to have some post-coital conversations. Maybe they'll have some inside jokes. Learn something about each other's personal life. Next thing, you know, you get a phone call at 1 PM...


When is too soon to say you love someone? is there a too soon?
Yes, there is a "too soon." I understand the desire to tell someone the second you feel it but you should hold off until you are at least 85% certain they feel the same way. It's about letting your relationship grow at a comfortable pace. If you tell someone too soon, it creates a countdown of sorts: The How-Many-Days-From-Me-First-Saying-'I-Love-You'-To-You-Reciprocating Countdown.


Can you have a successful relationship with someone that maybe you have no sparks with but is a really great person otherwise...and offers you everything you've ever wanted in a relationship
Yes, you can a successful relationship with a really great person who you don't feel the romantic spark for. It's called a friendship.

Thanks for playing, Navani. Hopefully, you won't be the last.

Movie of the Week: Gone Baby Gone

I generally hate movies in which the title of the movie is out of a line in the movie but I'll make an exception.

It was definitely a good flick despite being directed by Ben Affleck. I kid. I actually have no animosity towards the elder Affleck as he starred in one of my favorite movies of all-time.

Anyway, even though they were both by adapted from Dennis Lehane novels, elder Affleck follows the Mystic River playbook a little too closely.

Who would have thought Casey Affleck couldn't hold a consistent Boston accent?