Chris Rock Called It Almost A Decade Ago!

This is from the very first episode of The Chris Rock Show on HBO in 1997



Beat that, Miss Cleo

Random Thoughts Part III

Another day of ranDUMBness...

• Why the hell do I keep a blog? Or why do I still keep one? When I started out this little exercise in procrastination, I was more of a social being and, as a result, had more people actually reading the crap I was spewing. Now that I'm more or less a physical* recluse, this seems really stupid. And yet, it doesn't. It's like talking to myself. "Hey Sean, what did you think of that movie?" "Why, I'll tell you, Sean." Aside from talking to myself, it also allows me to never have to repeat myself when discussing a movie. And, the best thing, is when I start a dialogue with someone and then at some point, I send them the link to this bad boy, it pretty much gives them an idea of who they are dealing with and they can bring their social tape measure to determine how close I'm allowed to get.
• "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore?"(Andrew Largeman, Garden State)
  That quote perfectly describes how I feel anytime I go my parents' house in Long Island. My mother has completely redone the house since I moved out. Actually, it started as I was getting ready to leave. This isn't the first time she's done this but this time, it's like House 3.0. The floors are different, the carpet was removed, the kitchen replaced. There are even new TVs. It always felt weird but yesterday I was walking around this place I called home once and it felt like I had no childhood, like any evidence that I ever lived there has been systematically removed. It's weird to go to the same address you called your own for the better part of your life and having no memories.
• The Onion AV Club's 9 Recent Attempts to Save the Romantic Comedy. I was just saying to my brother who Love Actually is like the new classic romance movie. Not that it's a four star movie that will be studied in film classes ten years from now but it's one of those universally loved movies. I don't know a single soul who dislikes it.
• The Giants are NEVER winning a Super Bowl with Eli Manning at Quarterback. NEVER. I can't imagine what he can do to win back his team but it's clear that his receivers are done with him.
• I love Lost and 24 but The Wire really is the best show on television.
• R&B is a useless genre if you're not with someone. Funny how I don't feel that way about hip-hop even though I'm not rich and I don't or have never sold cocaine.
• Scrubs returns this Thursday...up against Grey's Anatomy and C.S.I. Is it just me or does it feel like every year NBC tries to find a new way to kill this show?
• Speaking of Grey's Anatomy, when I first started watching this show, the only character with unquestionable moral fiber was Preston Burke (Isaiah Washington)**. Who knew that wouldn't last? It's only fitting considering he's the only person who had proven to be a dick in real life.
  

* I saw "physical" because I still keep in touch with many people via Instant Messenger, MySpace and e-mails.
** George was a close second with that whole sleeping with Meredith thing being the only blemish on his character.

Movie of the Week Part II: Stranger Than Fiction

I don't think I will ever be able to accept Will Ferrell (Harold Crick) as a serious actor

Not that this was a serious movie because it was a comedy.

It's not because I don't think he's a good actor because he is.

But there were stretches during this movie where I thought to myself that this feels like a great Saturday Night Live sketch.

Or maybe SNL is that bad that I'm thinking of ways to make it better during my not watching SNL time?

I feel the same way about Mike Myers.

Anyway, this was a good movie. Not great. Cute even.

I still don't know how I feel about the end though. I kinda wanted it to end the way it was intended to end* but Kay Eiffel's (Emma Thompson) reasoning about her book's ending (and the movie as a whole) was true so what does that say about me as a person?

* This will make sense when you see the movie.

Movie of the Week: The Fountain

This is probably the hardest movie I've ever tried to review.

I can totally understand someone seeing this movie and hating it. I mean, not just hating but possibly walking out of it.

The movie is not perfect. Some of the script is hokey and some, you can argue alot, of the movie is conceptually silly.

But I loved this movie.

I think I loved this movie more than this movie was actually good.

I see (I think) what Darren Aronofsky was trying to achieve. This movie is grand and ambitious. The cinematography was amazing and you would expect no less.

I think what it comes down to is how you feel about the 26th-century parts of the movie. The present day and the 16th-century Spain are pretty straightforward when all is said and done. But the future, much like life, is definitely left up to interpretation. At first, I thought it was a metaphor and then I thought it was real but as the credits rolled, I didn't know what to think. It didn't take away from how I felt about the movie.

Hugh Jackman was amazing in this film. He really carried this movie alternating pain and passion for his "quest". I think he should be nominated for an Oscar but the critical reception this movie has gotten might hinder that cause. Brad Pitt was originally cast as he lead until he dropped out. I don't know if he could have done what Jackman did but it would have been interesting to see him try.

In my heart, I want to give this movie but I cannot deny its imperfections.

This is one of those movies I wouldn't recommend or at least I would selectively recommend because it's not easily accessible and requires an OPEN mind. Regardless, you are unlikely to see a movie like it in a long time.

Finally, A Useful Application of Science

'Beer goggles' effect explained
Scientists believe they have worked out a formula to calculate how "beer goggles" affect a drinker's vision.

The drink-fuelled phenomenon is said to transform supposedly "ugly" people into beauties - until the morning after.

Researchers at Manchester University say while beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, the amount of alcohol consumed is not the only factor.

Additional factors include the level of light in the pub or club, the drinker's own eyesight and the room's smokiness.

The distance between two people is also a factor.

They all add up to make the aesthetically-challenged more attractive, according to the formula.

The formula can work out a final score, ranging from less than one - where there is no beer goggle effect - to more than 100.

Nathan Efron, Professor of Clinical Optometry at the University of Manchester, said: "The beer goggles effect isn't solely dependent on how much alcohol a person consumes, there are other influencing factors at play too.

"For example, someone with normal vision, who has consumed five pints of beer and views a person 1.5 metres away in a fairly smoky and poorly lit room, will score 55, which means they would suffer from a moderate beer goggle effect."

The research was commissioned by eyecare firm Bausch & Lomb PureVision.

A poll showed that 68% of people had regretted giving their phone number to someone to whom they later realised they were not attracted.

A formula rating of less than one means no effect. Between one and 50 the person you would normally find unattractive appears less "visually offensive".

Non-appealing people become suddenly attractive between 51 and 100. At more than 100, someone not considered attractive looks like a super model.

KEY TO FORMULA
An = number of units of alcohol consumed
S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
L = luminance of 'person of interest' (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
d = distance from 'person of interest' (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/4468884.stm

So Far, The Only Bright Spot of The Knicks Season

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Teaser Trailer

I'm Sure He'll Pull a Mel Gibson/Mark Foley and Say 'I was Drunk'

Report: 'Seinfeld' Actor Hurls Racial Slurs On Stage
N-Word Tirade At Black Audience Members Caught On Videotape

POSTED: 9:45 am EST
November 20, 2006
The actor who played Kramer on the classic sitcom "Seinfeld" reportedly hurled racial epithets at two black audience members at a Los Angeles comedy hot spot Friday, leaving audience members outraged, according to TMZ.com.

According to the celebrity news Web site, Michael Richards went off on two black audience members who were heckling the comedian during a show at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood.

In a video of the incident featured on the Web site, Richards purportedly screamed, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f---ing fork up your a--."

On the videotape, some audience members are gasping in disbelief.

Directing his anger at one of the men, Richards said, "Throw his a-- out," and said, "He's a n-----!" five times.

Near the end of the tirade, Richards said, "They're going to arrest me for calling a black man a n-----."

In response to the tirade, one of men said, "That''s un-f---ing called for -- ain't necessary," TMZ said.

After the three-minute tirade concluded, several audience members hit the exits, the Web site said.

Richards played Kramer on "Seinfeld" from 1989 to 1998. He also starred in 2000's "The Michael Richards Show," which was canceled during its first season.

Movie of the Week: Fast Food Nation

What a good time to give up fast food.

This Richard Linklater film based on Eric Schlosser book (they both co-wrote the screenplay) was all over the place.

It covers:

• The fast food industry
  
• The meat packing industry
• Immigration
• Expoilted immigrant workers
• Misguided activism

All the actors were good especially Greg Kinnear (although his character was a little too naive), Catalina Sandino Moreno (Maria Full Of Grace) and Ashley Johnson (I can't believe that's the same little girl from Growning Pains). Also, cameos by Bruce Willis and Linklater staple, Ethan Hawke were great.

But again, this movie was ALL OVER THE PLACE. For awhile, it felt like a collection of scenes instead of a movie. Then Kinnear leaves the film (not a knock on him) and the movie hunkers down and gets better.

Now, for the warning, the last 5 minutes of the film are BRUTAL. Don't eat anything especially red meat before seeing this movie because it may come back for an encore. It was just...disgusting. After we got out the theater, some old lady was handing out PETA flyers. Definately a smart move on their part.

Deep Discount DVD Sale Returns!

20% off all DVDs in addition to their already discount prices.

In the text box next to "Enter Promotion/Sale Code", just enter one of the following codes:

* DVDTALK
* USATODAY
* NYTIMES
* SUPERSALE
* DDDCD
* DD1110
* DVDPRICESEARCH
* LATIMES
* ESPN
* YAHOO
* JIM
* WGN

Just make sure you are getting a deal on the DVDs. Some of them are overpriced so it's good to cross check with Amazon or Overstock to make sure you are getting a good deal.

The sale ends Saturday, November 18th.

This time around, I bought Scrubs Season Three & Four, Justice League Unlimited - Season One, and Freaks and Geeks: The Complete Series (finally!)

Movie of the Week: Shortbus

How often can you watch the credits and see "Pee and Vibrator Consultant" scroll by?

I will never look at the Star Spangeled Banner the same way again.

While all the attention about this movie is about the unsimulated sex - gay and straight - but the sex, dare I say, was almost inconsequential to the movie.

It was really about trying to find a connection with others and find themselves in a post-9/11 New York. Sometimes the characters try to solve thier problems through sex. Sometimes sex is the problem.

I can't remember the last movie I saw that had a more New York feel to it.

Most of the actors were first-timers and the characters were developed through a series of workshops with director John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig and the Angry Inch). The standouts are Sook-Yin Lee (Sofia), Paul Dawson (James) & Lindsay Beamish (Severin).

The soundtrack was also great and highly recommend it if you like indie rock/pop.

Spider-Man 3 trailer

Lost Season Three: "I Do"

FEBRUARY 7th IS SO FAR AWAY!!!!

What I Liked:

• I know people who are going to complain about not getting answers, but damn that was just some damn good television.
  
• Hi. I'm Jack. I went to medical school. I'm not as stupid as you think. Seriously, it was good to see Jack not be an idiot and take everything he gets at face value which has been his biggest problem. He didn't believe he was ever getting off tthe island so he did the only good thing he thought he could do which was get his friends free from The Others.
  
• Nathan Fillon (Mal from Firefly and Serenity) as Kate's husband. Why couldn't he be stuck on the island?
• I loved the looks Juliet was giving Jack during surgery like "So are we killing him or what?"
• I hate to keep saying this but DAMN, Kate is fit!
• You have to feel bad for Jack. His two viable options for island sex - Ana Lucia and Kate - and Sawyer had sex with them both. If he had decided to do the surgery to get off the island, could you blame him?
• I will admit that for a split second, I believed Sawyer was a dead man. That last scene was probably the best acting Evangeline Lilly has done this entire series.
  
• All the people who have been unhappy with Lost and keep saying that they aren't going to watch the show anymore but keep coming back to complain, here's your chance. You have 13 weeks to get used to not watching Lost. Find something else to do from 9-10 PM. So the rest of us who aren't crying about not getting answers week after week and just seeing how the show is going to play out without any preconceived notions about what should happen and when we should be getting information can enjoy the show and the rest of you can talk about Criminal Minds or The O.C. You'll be missed*.
  

What I didn't like:

• I can tell why the producer added more characters (The Others, Nikki, Paulo, One-eyed dude) because the current characters flashbacks are useless. We get it. Jack needs to be in control. Sawyer's a con man. Kate needs to run. Locke is a sap. However, the one good thing is with the exception of Jack (his tattoos), Locke (how he got in the wheelchair) and Desmond (why he was in prison), everyone feels expendable because there's nothing let to learn about the rest of them.
  
• Not enough castaway action
• Our two new castaways didn't have any lines.
• I know Kate was freaking out because Sawyer was thisclose to being shot and Jack was yelling at her, but she couldn't have said "Jack, we're on an island. I'm gonna need more than two hours"
  

What We Learned:

• Kate was married to a cop under the name of Monica
• Kate probably traded in her honeymoon tickets (on Oceanic Airlines) to get to Australia
  
• Sawyer loves Kate.

Questions:

• What was with Kate's 50's hair stylings in her flashback?
• Who was Alex's boyfriend? Karl from the first episode of this season?
• How did Kate get a marriage license?
• Does Kate really love Sawyer? If Kate was in a cage opposite Jack, would she have slept with him? Is Kate with Sawyer because she has nowhere else to run?
• Did Jack mean for only Kate to escape because he never once mentions Sawyer over the walkie talkie? Will Sawyer remember than when/if their paths cross again?
  
• What happened to the 2 "unpleasant" weeks Ben promised Kate during their breakfast in the first episode of this season? Was that a part of his original plan before Juliet screwed it up?
• Why was Ben curious if Alex asked for him? What is their relationship? And why did Juliet lie?
  
• What the odds of one man (Sawyer) having sex with two attractive women on a semi-deserted island from the same plane crash?
• What did the saying on Eko's stick, "Lift up your eyes and look north”, mean to Locke?
• Who is Jacob? What is this "List"? Why wasn't Jack on it?
• Wouldn't it be funny if Jack did the surgery on Ben and he was successful and they just dropped him off on the other island and Ben was like, "I kept my promise"?

*No, you won't

Can 50 Cent Dis ALL These Rappers?

The Game - One Blood (Remix) featuring...Jim Jones, Snoop Dogg, Nas, T.I., The Game, Fat Joe, Lil Wayne, N.O.R.E., Jadakiss, Styles P, Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Rick Ross, Twista, Kurupt, Daz, WC, E-40, Bun B, Chamilionaire, Slim Thug, Young Dro, The Clipse & Ja Rule.

Wouldn't you be kinda mad if The Game didn't call you up?

The Lost Pages of Melanism.com

These are some of the pages I had made when I was doing this site strictly via HTML without the help of Blogger back in 2001. Who knew I'd still be procrastinating to this day?

• The original main page
  
• My self-description
• My favorite quotes from Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo's faux self-help book, Feel This Book : An Essential Guide to Self-Empowerment, Spiritual Supremacy, and Sexual Satisfaction
• Why I Thought Jennifer Lopez Was...Not All That Impressive
• My essay on "The Hypocrisy of Nice Guys"
• The page my friend at NYU (who I won't identify because he has a girlfriend now) wrote as "The Sith Pimp"
• Silly Things Women Do That Annoy Men
  

I would like to think I've matured since then.

Random Thoughts Part II

Just some random nonsense...

• There has been a lot of Lost backlash over the first part of season three. The main complaint being that it dished out more questions than answers these days. After two seasons, if you haven't figured out that this show does not operate under the principles of "immediate gratification", then you should stop watching. Seriously. Don't watch anymore. Luckily this show rakes in enough money on DVD that it is never in danger of being cancelled, even if the ratings slip.
• Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News needs help of the psychiatric variety.
• I think I've "outgrown" hip-hop for the most part. I listened to new albums by The Game and Jim Jones of the Dipset and I thought they were garbage for the most part (between both albums only 9 songs weren't deleted after one lesson). However, most hip-hop magazines and message boards actually think these are hot albums. Sometimes I watch BET and I want to throw up. I think BET actually is making me a racist but that's another post. Hip-Hop like basketball is a young person's game I guess. As I look at my iPod and see that this year, there is more indie rock and pop than hip-hop. Actually, every year, there is less and less hip-hop that interests me. That said, I'm still looking forward to Jay-Z, Nas, MF Doom, The Clipse and Ghostface's upcoming album. I don't know. Is it just that I have an old ear? I feel like William in Mallrats staring at the Magic Eye poster looking for the ship.
  
• Speaking of my iPod, I'm down to 300 MB left on my 60 GB iPod. I've managed to hold out for a month now, deleting a song or two a day, then adding an album but I'm either going to have to part with a lot of music or I'm going to have to buckle down and buy an 80 GB. It's sad because jazz is always the first to go.
  
• In a perfect world, everyone would be watching Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Grey's Anatomy and The Wire.
• Even though between my television watching, my Netflix movies, going out to the movies and my general chores (laundry, ironing, laziness, etc.) I barely have time to play video games any more, I REALLY want to buy Guitar Hero II. Maybe it will convince me to have people over every once and awhile. It just looks like too much fun.
  
• The Shins' Wincing The Night Away is already my favorite album of 2007
• My favorite albums from this year right now are Badly Drawn Boy's Born in the U.K., the soundtrack for Shortbus, Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton' Knives Don't Have Your Back, Amy Winehouse's Back to Black and The Dears' Gang of Losers.
• Since when did People Magazine become Out magazine? They've "outed" Lance Bass from *NSync, T.R. Knight from Grey's Anatomy and now Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother. And yet, Tom Cruise eludes them.
• I still want to learn French but c'mon, let's not kid ourselves.
• My boss for the last two Christmas gave gift certificates to iTunes Music Store. The first was for $200 (!) and the second for $50. Do you know how much I have left? $161. If I know I can get it um...elsewhere, I won't buy it. Too bad I can't use it towards an iPod.

Movie of the Week: Borat

Somewhere in hell, Andy Kaufman is smiling...or is really pissed he didn't get to pull this off

I'm going to get this off my chest.

If anyone other than Sacha Baron Cohen wins the Academy Award for Best Actor, it will be a crime.

I can't imagine seeing a better performance this year of this decade.

I don't want to ruin anything for anyone but my favorite scenes were the fight in the hotel and the kids running up to the ice cream truck.

Sometimes you feel bad for the people he gets over on, but then you see a scene like the conversation before the rodeo or the frat guys from University of South Carolina (who should collectively never get laid again) and you just shake your head.

Who I am most concerned for are the Jackass guys. They are going to see this movie and see that the bar has been raised. This will result in jail time, paralysis or death. So Steve-O and Johnny, let it go.

Lost Season 3: "The Cost of Living"

Don't drink and drive, kids

What I Liked:

• Aw, damn, Mr. Eko
  
• Locke's new "Anyone who wants to come into the forest and die, can come" regime
  
• Again, I love Elizabeth Mitchell (Juliet)
  
• Ben's mea culpa to Jack about their plan to break Jack to make him want to operate on Ben's tumor
• Juliet's re-enactment of INXS' "Mediate" music video ("Ignore everything I'm saying. Ben is a liar and he is very dangerous. Some of us want a change, but it has to look like an accident. It has to look like we tried to save him, and that's up to you, Jack. It's a complicated surgery. No one would ever know and I would protect you. Now tell me to turn off the movie.")
• Smokey's back!
  

What I didn't like:

• What was the point of having the tail end survivors?
• I hate that if we know in advance that a character is going to die and a character has their flashback, it's pretty much a given that character is proper fucked.
• I still don't like how the new castaways are being introduced.
• I'll never get tired of thinking this but how much better and shocking would the deaths be with ABC didn't advertise them?
  
• This was my least favorite episode this season (not that it was a bad episode). Even though a lot happened, I felt like nothing happened.
  

What We Learned:

• The tumor Jack saw last episode was Ben's
• Mr. Eko is...er...was building a church to replace the one he desecrated
• The reason Ben brought Jack to the Others was to operate on his tumor
• Mr. Eko was mighty handy with a machete
• How the the pilot died in the first episode of Lost
• There's another hatch on the island we haven't seen
• There are Others who aren't down with however Ben operates
• Juliet wants Jack to help her kill Ben
• If you are a cast member and you get arrested, call your agent.
  

Questions:

• Did Desmond know that Eko was going to die?
  
• Where was Sun and Jin?
  
• Who's telling the truth - Ben or Juliet?
  
• Did the smoke monster take the form of Yemi? Is it the source of all unexplained hallucinations (Jack's dad, Hurley's imaginary friend)?
  
• What is the smoke monster's criteria for killing?
• Was the smoke monster going to kill Locke when it grabbed him at the season finale of season one?
  
• Who is the one-eyed man?
• Where is the hatch they saw on the video screen?
• Where does the water from that toliet go?
  
• Why do they need Kate and Sawyer?
• Why did Locke see a bright light and Mr. Eko a black column of smoke? Is the island racist? OR are there two monsters?
• When Mr. Eko told Locke "You're next", did he mean the group or Locke?