78th Annual Academy Award Nominations

So the nominee list has been released today. A couple of comments/hating:

• C'mon, despite all the bad press and mixed reviews, who didn't think Munich was going to get nominated for best picture? I knew that the first time I saw the trailer.
• Crash? Really? I don't get the big whoopla about this movie. I saw it. It was okay. But best picture? Really? Naaaah. That's what happens when you employ that many SAG members in one movie.
• Peter Jackson got screwed out of a best director nod. When you force a studio to make a big financial gambit and it doesn't pan out. He'll be lucky if they let him make a one hour and 45 minute film.
  
• Is this the first time Disney Animation has been shut out of the Best Animated Feature category? That Pixar sale couldn't come fast enough for them.
• I can't wait to see them perform "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" at the Oscars and Jon Stewart's comment right after. Man, imagine if they had nominated "Whoop That Trick"?
  
• Jon Stewart: Bad choice for a host. and I love Jon Stewart.
  
• Nominations I'm happy about: Paul Giamatti, William Hurt & Amy Adams for Supporting Roles, Batman Begins for Cinematography.
• Movies/People that should have been nominated: The Constant Gardener for Best Picture, Naomi Watts & Maria Bello for Best Actress
  
• Movies I need to see before March 5th: Capote, Good Night, And Good Luck, Munich, The Squid & The Whale. After I see those, I can make my Oscar picks.
  

R.I.P. Coretta Scott King

DVR alert: Dave Chappelle on Oprah

Friday, February 3rd

I wonder if Chappelle's skit about fathering Oprah's love child will come up.

WTF?!? #8,043

Big Momma's House 2 opened with $28 Million and was #1 in the box office this week.

Maybe this is the uppiy negro in me but...seriously!?

For some perspective, Hotel Rwanda made a total of $23 million domestically.

You just couldn't wait for the bootleg on 125th Street, Canal Street or Jamaica Avenue

You fools just got Black Knight 2 greenlighted.

I hope you're happy with yourselves.

Perfect Timing

I want to develop the kind of timing that allows me to ask an insightful yet rhetorical question and then walk away before the person has a chance to respond.

Seems to work for the kids on Grey's Anatomy.

Dave Chappelle's Block Party trailer

I can't even remember when I actually went to this. All I know it was a long time ago because we were all anticipating Chappelle Show season 3.

Today's Lesson...

Do Not FUCK With Oprah

Four is the Magic Number

So I was watching Love Monkey (cute show but somebody owes Nick Hornby some money) and once again it another show where four individuals discuss love and relationships from a variety of angles and social situations.

But why is it always four?

Has society decided that for a unisex social circle to cover every angle, it needs to be a square?

Oh and one opposite sex friend that I will never sleep with (again?)

Everyone thinks Sex & The City started this trend but the real culprit is The Golden Girls.

Maybe that's what's missing from my life.

Three consistent male friends who like to have lunch with me and go out drinking at night.

And one female friend to contradict everything the three guys say.

According to my personal savior, The Great Television, that is what is keeping me from discovering to true meaning of life.

I'm accepting applications.

Bye UPN and WB

This better not affect the following:

• Veronica Mars
• Smallville
• Everybody Hates Chris
• Girlfriends (it kills time on syndication)

Otherwise, bye Cuts and Eve and South Beach and Twins and Summerland and all those other crap shows that reminds us why we pay for cable.

America's Next Top Idol

Why do we still care about American Idol or America's Next Top Model?

Between the winners and runner-ups of both those shows, only Kelly Clarkson is doing anything noteworthy (and no, Adrienne Curry getting engaged to the Brady guy and doing Playboy is not a step forward)

Obviously, this show doesn't work.

But every year, it comes back stronger than ever.

And ruining the TV schedule because now I can't watch Bones (to make room for Idol, they moved Bones to Wednesday at 9 PM up against Lost and Veronica Mars.)

America, give up.

There is no need to watch SNL

The internet will show you what was funny...

Flank 2 Position

The new code word for all bar/club/lounge/party situations when you are talking to someone who you don't want to be talking to and you need a rescue.

Mark my words.

Brutal Honesty

When your platonic friend responds to a neutral query if you two are dating like "What? No. Sean? Nope, Absoltutley NOTHING going on there. Why the hell would you think that?".

I felt like a leper.

Score

"There's an illusion of team play in place...so none of the Lakers realize that Kobe [Bryant] is the wolf from Teen Wolf and they're basically "The Other Guys"
-Bill Simmons

Kobe scored 81 points last night. Wow. I need to go home and watch Sportscenter tonight. It was one thing when Wilt scored 100. He was a huge center. They didn't make guys like Wilt back then. Or guys like Wilt didn't know they should be playing basketball. But from a shooting guard? 81 points! I have spread a lot of Kobe hate over the years but that is just amazing.

On the other side, how useless does the rest of the Lakers feel? I mean they only scored 41 points. The whole team. Seriously. It was like that episode of The Fresh prince of Bel-Air when Will joined the basketball team and the coach's whole strategy was "Pass the ball to Will". But that wasn't even the case because the Lakers only had 18 assists as a team (Lamar Odom had 7 of them) so Kobe was creating a majority of those shots himself.

Like, why even come to work? After a game like that, the players should be coming up to him like...

Lamar: Hey Kobe. Great game.
Kobe: Thanks. Hey, you had some great passes there. I couldn't have done it without you.
Lamar: Yeah right. Listen me and the guys were talking.
Kobe: Yeah?
Lamar: Do you want to sleep with any of our wives or girlfriends tonight?
Kobe: What?!?
Lamar: No really. Any one of them. The way we figure it, the only reason we got girlfriends and wives like we do is because we're basketball players. But tonight, I feel like I didn't earn the right to climb into that bed. So, have at it. Get to 100 points on us.
Kobe: Um...no thanks. But thanks man. Maybe next time.
Lamar: Sure.

Or something like that...

Anyone else think...

...that recently suspended New York Knick, Antonio Davis, is having the best sex of his life at home right now.

It's gonna be the best five game suspension he's ever had.

Read Me Pt. 2

Black Hole by Charles Burns

I wish I could explain what this book is about but I'm pretty damn sure whatever I say wouldn't do it any justice. It's about being a teenager. It's about alienation. It's about sex. There's murder.

And really amazing black & white art.

Nah there's still more to it.

Racist Stuff I Laugh At - PSP Ads

Squirrel, please?

In Hell... (Part 1)

...I bet all there is to drink is TheraFlu...and no sugar.

Don't Call Me During...- 2006 Edition

With the fall season coming back and the midseason replacements kicking in, lose my phone number during these times of the day:

Sunday:
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: 24 (A&E repeats, the second season is just as good the second time around)
9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Mile High*/Family Guy*/American Dad*/Desperate Housewives**/
10:00 PM - 11:00 PM: Grey's Anatomy (on probation)

Monday:
8:00 PM - 8:30 PM: Arrested Development (2 episodes left. Sigh)
9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: 24
10:00 PM - 10:30 PM: Real World/Road Rules Challenge (The best thing about DVR is I can fast forward all the challenges)

Tuesday:
9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Scrubs (Should I be concerned that NBC is showing two episodes at a time? Did they film that many episodes or are they trying to be done with this show as soon as possible?)
10:00 PM - 11:00 PM: The Shield/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit*

Wednesday:
9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Lost (the perfect hump day show)
10:00 PM - 11:00 PM: Invasion (I wish Alias had this slot still. You think Lost is unfolding slow? Try Invasion.)

Thursday:
8:00 PM - 8:30 PM: Everybody Hates Chris
8:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Smallville (if Alias is put up against it when it comes back, I may have to give up on this little experiment)
9:00 PM - 9:30 PM: My Name Is Earl
9:30 PM - 10:00 PM: The Office

Friday
10:00 PM - 11:00 PM: Battlestar Galatica

Saturday:
Watching all the shows I missed on DVR and downloaded episodes of The L Word***

Yes, I know it goes without saying that I am committed to too much television. One day, someone is going to have to explain to me why this is such a bad thing.

* Viva La DVR
** It's my brother's fault
*** I miss Showtime but unless they acquire Arrested Development, Viva La Bittorrent!

Clerks 2 Teaser Trailer

http://blockofstores.com/teaser/

I'm mad because last week I finally took a hard look at myself and was willing to admit that Rosario Dawson shouldn't be acting anymore.

And now she's in a movie I know I am going to see...

My God is a cruel god.

Don't Quit Your Day Job

I hope everyone on the U.S.C defense (especially the secondary) have good majors.

Like you see a great college player and he'll have a major like "Television history".

Those guys.

I bet they are all pre-med, pre-law or business management.

Because they know football is NOT in their future.

Redefining "That Time of the Month"

Studies from the University of California-Los Angeles and the University of New Mexico-Albuquerque suggest an evolutionary tendency toward infidelity during ovulation, which is the most fertile part of the menstrual cycle. The studies suggest the propensity is more likely if women don't view their partners as sexy.

So is that what keeps happening to my girlfriends?

Read Me: Pt. 1

Blankets by Craig Thompson

I've been wanting to buy this book since it came out but I was always too...well...cheap to spend that much money on a graphic novel (like I haven't spent more on less). Anyway, someone finally got it for me for Christmas and it was everything I hoped it would be and more. This is one of those graphic novels that transcend the genre as well as strengthening it.

Movies I'm Interested In Seeing: January

January 6:
Grandma's Boy *

* I know this movie will be awful but it looks like fun.

Sometimes, I'll see or read something...

...that will make me feel like less of a geek.

For example...




Although, the first thought I had was "Do I have enough chest hair to pull this off?"

Cowboys Are My Weakness by Larry David

Published January 1, 2006
The New York Times

Somebody had to write this, and it might as well be me. I haven't seen "Brokeback Mountain," nor do I have any intention of seeing it. In fact, cowboys would have to lasso me, drag me into the theater and tie me to the seat, and even then I would make every effort to close my eyes and cover my ears.

And I love gay people. Hey, I've got gay acquaintances. Good acquaintances, who know they can call me anytime if they had my phone number. I'm for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That's all.

Is that so terrible? Does that mean I'm homophobic? And if I am, well, then that's too bad. Because you can call me any name you want, but I'm still not going to that movie.

To my surprise, I have some straight friends who've not only seen the movie but liked it. "One of the best love stories ever," one gushed. Another went on, "Oh, my God, you completely forget that it's two men. You in particular will love it."

"Why me?"

"You just will, trust me."

But I don't trust him. If two cowboys, male icons who are 100 percent all-man, can succumb, what chance to do I have, half- to a quarter of a man, depending on whom I'm with at the time? I'm a very susceptible person, easily influenced, a natural-born follower with no sales-resistance. When I walk into a store, clerks wrestle one another trying to get to me first. My wife won't let me watch infomercials because of all the junk I've ordered that's now piled up in the garage. My medicine cabinet is filled with vitamins and bald cures.

So who's to say I won't become enamored with the whole gay business? Let's face it, there is some appeal there. I know I've always gotten along great with men. I never once paced in my room rehearsing what to say before asking a guy if he wanted to go to the movies. And I generally don't pay for men, which of course is their most appealing attribute.

And gay guys always seem like they're having a great time. At the Christmas party I went to, they were the only ones who sang. Boy that looked like fun. I would love to sing, but this weighty, self-conscious heterosexuality I'm saddled with won't permit it.

I just know if I saw that movie, the voice inside my head that delights in torturing me would have a field day. "You like those cowboys, don't you? They're kind of cute. Go ahead, admit it, they're cute. You can't fool me, gay man. Go ahead, stop fighting it. You're gay! You're gay!"

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

Larry David appears in the HBO series "Curb Your Enthusiasm."