Wednesday, March 24, 2004
The Art of Psychological War, Part 1
I've always believed this and please feel free to let me know if I'm wrong.
But if you really want to take a girl down from her pedastal...
Call her fat.
Not angry or yelling or in a "Oh Yeah" kinda way.
Just very matter-of-factly.
Examples:
"Have you put on some weight? No, seriously" (then tilt to get a view of their rear)
"Did you have a big breakfast/lunch/dinner?" (playfully pat the tummy)
"Us fat people gotta stick together."
You get the picture.
While this may not be as effective to your really big girl who has come to terms with her weight, the skinny/in shape girls are easy targets.
The skinnier they are, the fatter they believe they are.
In order of effect:
1. The slightly chubby girls who are not fat but not skinny enough to be labeled skinny. When they sit down, they got a lil roll.
2. Girls who go to the gym alot but don't have a six pack
3. Naturally skinny girls. They might take it as a compliment because they have probably heard all their life how they ned to gain weight.
4. Fat girls.
Now, when you say this, don't expect an immediate reaction.
They'll probably laught it off and say whatever.
But when they go home...
When no one's around...
They will be looking at their ass in the mirror and they won't be having that slice of cake for dessert.
Game. Set. Match.
But if you really want to take a girl down from her pedastal...
Call her fat.
Not angry or yelling or in a "Oh Yeah" kinda way.
Just very matter-of-factly.
Examples:
"Have you put on some weight? No, seriously" (then tilt to get a view of their rear)
"Did you have a big breakfast/lunch/dinner?" (playfully pat the tummy)
"Us fat people gotta stick together."
You get the picture.
While this may not be as effective to your really big girl who has come to terms with her weight, the skinny/in shape girls are easy targets.
The skinnier they are, the fatter they believe they are.
In order of effect:
1. The slightly chubby girls who are not fat but not skinny enough to be labeled skinny. When they sit down, they got a lil roll.
2. Girls who go to the gym alot but don't have a six pack
3. Naturally skinny girls. They might take it as a compliment because they have probably heard all their life how they ned to gain weight.
4. Fat girls.
Now, when you say this, don't expect an immediate reaction.
They'll probably laught it off and say whatever.
But when they go home...
When no one's around...
They will be looking at their ass in the mirror and they won't be having that slice of cake for dessert.
Game. Set. Match.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
You Stupid Bitch!*
Why do people cheat on reality shows?
Actually I take that back. i'm sure people cheat on reality shows for the same reason people cheat everywhere.
That being said, why do people confess about cheating on reality TV?
I mean, if you don't care about your significant other and have been looking for a way out, by all means blow up his spot on TV
But if you still want to be with them...Wait until the show is over, dumbass.
Then you and your love can have an OFF-CAMERA chat about it and we won't find out if everything was worked out until the reunion during sweeps the following year.
Instead these morons make themselves and their boy/girlfriend look like a fool on NATIONAL TV.
Do that to me and you better stay where you are.
Actually, if I was dating someone on a reality show and they cheated on me and I got that call, I would act all serial killer calm:
Girl: Sean?
Me: Hi, baby!
Girl: I have something horrible to tell you.
Me: (concerned) What is it?
Girl (sobbing): I slept with someone. It only happened once and I'm so so..
Me: (Interupting) Ok. Did I tell you that I got a raise?
Girl: (sniffling): What?
Me: I got a raise. Isn't that great?
Girl: (yelling with a snot bubble) DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I slept with someone.
Me: I know. I heard. Can I call you back? Sopranos is coming on and I heard someone gets whacked this week.
And I would never talk about her sleeping with that dde until she came home.
Why? You ask
Because she would be mentally tortured for the rest of her stay.
And, I'm not making an ass of myself on TV.
At least, not like that.
*Shandi's boyfriend upon finding out she had sex with someone in Milan.
Actually I take that back. i'm sure people cheat on reality shows for the same reason people cheat everywhere.
That being said, why do people confess about cheating on reality TV?
I mean, if you don't care about your significant other and have been looking for a way out, by all means blow up his spot on TV
But if you still want to be with them...Wait until the show is over, dumbass.
Then you and your love can have an OFF-CAMERA chat about it and we won't find out if everything was worked out until the reunion during sweeps the following year.
Instead these morons make themselves and their boy/girlfriend look like a fool on NATIONAL TV.
Do that to me and you better stay where you are.
Actually, if I was dating someone on a reality show and they cheated on me and I got that call, I would act all serial killer calm:
Girl: Sean?
Me: Hi, baby!
Girl: I have something horrible to tell you.
Me: (concerned) What is it?
Girl (sobbing): I slept with someone. It only happened once and I'm so so..
Me: (Interupting) Ok. Did I tell you that I got a raise?
Girl: (sniffling): What?
Me: I got a raise. Isn't that great?
Girl: (yelling with a snot bubble) DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I slept with someone.
Me: I know. I heard. Can I call you back? Sopranos is coming on and I heard someone gets whacked this week.
And I would never talk about her sleeping with that dde until she came home.
Why? You ask
Because she would be mentally tortured for the rest of her stay.
And, I'm not making an ass of myself on TV.
At least, not like that.
*Shandi's boyfriend upon finding out she had sex with someone in Milan.
Monday, March 22, 2004
Don't you forget about me...
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Go see it.
I think this may end up as my favorite romance film since When Harry Met Sally
But you might still hate it...so don't hold it against me
Go see it.
I think this may end up as my favorite romance film since When Harry Met Sally
But you might still hate it...so don't hold it against me
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
A Requiem for Sex & The City
Ha.
For such an empowering show for it to end like that makes me laugh.
Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda had satifying conclusions but Carrie's...
Well, let me say this.
After Carrie made her "I'm looking for love" speech, she gets back with John aka Mr. Big, the man who had dicked her around more than Beecher got dicked around in OZ.
Because he said "You're the one"
Allow me to laugh again.
Ha.
So, fellas, I hope you took notes. If a girl thinks that you are the one, you have 5-6 years to do whatever you want, with or without her, until you have to decide if you want to be with her.
Have fun. She will be waiting.
At least, Aidan, the show's greatest crime, was married with children and happy.
For such an empowering show for it to end like that makes me laugh.
Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda had satifying conclusions but Carrie's...
Well, let me say this.
After Carrie made her "I'm looking for love" speech, she gets back with John aka Mr. Big, the man who had dicked her around more than Beecher got dicked around in OZ.
Because he said "You're the one"
Allow me to laugh again.
Ha.
So, fellas, I hope you took notes. If a girl thinks that you are the one, you have 5-6 years to do whatever you want, with or without her, until you have to decide if you want to be with her.
Have fun. She will be waiting.
At least, Aidan, the show's greatest crime, was married with children and happy.
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